


Guns and Roses

by brusselledsprouts



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, also non binary pyro!, also this is self ship related magnus is my s/i, and best friend pyro!, dad soldier!, everyone is SO gay as it should be, magnus is my oc he's the official illegal therapist for the RED mercs, spy is both scout's dad bc they are twins :), though not really bc no one stays dead in tf2, uh also
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:02:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 29,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28465005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brusselledsprouts/pseuds/brusselledsprouts
Summary: It's really, really hard to find a legal therapist willing to work with the MannCo mercs. So the solution? Find one that never got his license. It's fool proof- until you reveal that you know more about him than he'd like. Oh well, someone was bound to kill you eventually. May as well be the twink that lives in crop tops and wants to personally strangle the Spy.[ Self Ship fanfic originally posted on Tumblr ][ Edit: I forgot to add that you need some understanding of the comics in order to understand a lot of the later chapters. ]
Relationships: Male OC/Heavy, Male OC/Medic, Male OC/Spy, Male Oc/Sniper
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

“It’s very noble of you to think you can steal the arson from my heart,” Magnus leaned back in his seat, staring down the psychiatrist in front of him, gaining a sigh from the clearly exhausted woman.

He watched her lean forward slightly, her hands clasped in her lap. “You and I both know that’s not why we're here, Mr. Summers. You tried to murder your own mother. Not even with the fire, you did that as a last ditch attempt to cover it up.”

She wasn’t wrong, and she knew he understood that with the way his eyes narrowed at her. “Are you telling me… I just got out of jail…. because someone bailed me out…. and instead of leaving I have to sit here and pretend I give a shit what you’re saying?” he finally spoke, venom dripping from his voice.

The woman sighed deeply, running a hand through her graying hair. “Mr. Summers, we can’t let you run around without this evaluation. This was the only way you’d get out of there as early as you did. Surely, as a former therapy student, you understand that.”

“Former!” the man snapped, leaning forward suddenly, causing the woman to snap back in response. “I realized this was all bullshit! I’m leaving, whether you people like it or not!”

He stood up quickly, striding past the chairs and to the door. “Just try to fucking stop me,” he added, shooting her a glare as she opened her mouth to respond. The door hit the wall hard when he slammed it open, and no one tried to stop him on the way out. After all, they were just a bunch of weak ass office workers. What were they going to do against someone who fought better than he interacted with people?

Returning home wasn’t an option. No… they’d look for him there. If they bothered at all. So he took to walking aimlessly instead, figuring out his plan as he went.

He only stopped once, turning his head slightly at the sound of heels hitting the ground quickly behind him. When they stopped, he turned completely, staring down at this purple clad woman catching her breath in front of him. “Can I… help you?” he finally said, tilting his head slightly to the side.

She held up a hand to signal for him to wait, which he did until she had finally caught her breath. “My name is Miss Pauling,” she began, before shoving a file into his hands, “and my employer would like to hire you.”

Magnus stared at this woman for a long moment, before looking down at the file in his hands and flipping through the papers inside. “You want to hire me… as a therapist? Even though you know I dropped out of school?”

“That’s the appeal of hiring you specifically,” she replied, straightening her posture as she spoke. “You can’t tell anyone about what you learn, because you’ll be put back in jail. We’ll make sure of it, seeing as we’re the ones who got you out.”

He looked back up at her, all too aware of all the ways he could take her out and run off. Instead, he sighed and shrugged. “Pay looks good. And I’m damn happy to be out of that shithole. So sure, why not. I need a job anyway.”

Little Miss Pauling gained a look of surprise, clearly having expected Magnus to put up more of a fight. “Oh- alright! Wonderful. If you’ll just come with me, I’ll drive you to the base. You’ll have to sign a contract when we get there, but if you have any questions, now’s the time to ask them.”

“Just one,” he said, following her to her car parked nearby, slipping into the passenger’s seat. “How the fuck am I supposed to help people who kill each other daily? And how much do I have to do to at least get them a weekend off?”

“That’s two,” Miss Pauling pointed out, starting the car and earning a quiet “whatever” from the man. “You’re just supposed to let them talk to you with the assurance that no one else will ever know what they tell you. That alone has proven to be quite helpful. And I’ll look into the weekend off.”

Magnus fell quiet after that, looking back at the file again. “One more. How…” he paused, looking up, out the windshield and to the road in front of them. “How do you know my real name?”

The woman next to him didn’t answer for a long, almost excruciating moment. “Not everything you burn is gone forever,” she finally replied. He didn’t speak up again for the rest of the ride, and neither did she. 

That was fine. He was too busy working on a way to destroy any evidence of his past life anyway. He wasn’t that man anymore, and refused to be him ever again. And if he had to kill Miss Pauling’s employer himself, then he would.

After all, what’s a frail old woman gonna do to someone in their physical prime who has literally nothing holding them back? Nothing. And he was banking on that.


	2. Chapter 2

“Damn, y’all let people live here?” Magnus asked once the car had stopped in front of the base, going through the painfully fake cover-up they had in place. “No wonder they’re losing their minds.”

“Actually, we’re well past that,” Miss Pauling countered, as if that was completely fucking normal. “This is the RED base, you’ll be working with them this month and next month you’ll be transferred to the BLU base. We plan on keeping you on a switch schedule.”

Magnus stared at the woman for a moment, a little worried by the way she glossed over the apparent insanity as if it didn’t bother her at all. “Um… okay. Sounds good to me.”

Even so, he was hesitant to enter the building. They did end up going by his house before leaving the city so he could grab some clothes, and a weapon or too, but he wasn’t exactly certain that he’d be fast enough to take someone out before he knew the way they fought.

Just to be safe, he kept his hand on his revolver. “You’ll be introduced to them during the first session,” Miss Pauling spoke up again, leading him through the halls and towards his apparent office. “Just so you can get a feel of them immediately, in a professional setting.”

Wow. She was seriously overestimating his people skills. Sure he can read people just fine, but god knows he can’t actually put it to use.

“Right…” he responded, when she looked over at him expectantly. “Um. I’d like to go in order of their class, if that’s alright with y’all. Grouping them together makes it easier to organize their files. And people in the same category tend to be similar in some way.”

He’d never sounded that professional before, he was kinda proud of himself. I mean, it was a really low bar to set, but at least he surpassed it.

It took him a while to notice that Miss Pauling was actually taking notes, scribbling down his request on the order. He almost ran into her when she suddenly stopped in front of a door, having been too focussed on her writing to notice they had arrived at their destination.

She didn’t say anything as she unlocked the door, pushing it open and letting Magnus inside. “The key will obviously be yours, I’ll be the only other person with one,” she said, leading him over to the desk near the back wall of the room.

The only thing out on the desk was yet another file, one that Miss Pauling opened up to reveal the contract she mentioned earlier. Magnus fell back into the chair behind the desk, picking the packet up and actually reading through it.

He may be jokingly illiterate, but one thing he doesn’t fuck with is contracts. Those are literally the one thing he reads through, beginning to end, before he even thinks about signing it.

To her credit, Miss Pauling just stood there the entire time. He guess she was probably surprised he bothered reading through whatever hell he was about to put himself through, but she didn’t say anything or try to rush him.

It was a good five pages, but he was setting it back on the table soon enough. “Funny how your boss doesn’t want anyone knowing you work for both teams, yet you’re telling me I have to tell them I work for both.”

The purple dressed woman sighed, pushing up her glasses slightly. “We don’t want them turning on us. You, however, we want them to trust. That means you’ll have to be fully transparent with them. Some mercs will trust you faster than others, like Pyro and Demoman. Others… you’ll have to work with. We genuinely want this to work.”

She watched as he seemed to process that, before he let out a soft sigh, opening up one of the desk drawers in search of a pen. “Y’all know I dropped out for a reason right?” he asked, as he pulled off the cap and scribbled his signature down.

Miss Pauling closed the packet back in the file, straightening up once it was in her grasp. “We are well aware of your low empathy, Mr. Summers. We actually think it’ll work quite well with these men. After all, they do kill each other every day for a living. I’ll send Scout in on my way out.”

Magnus leaned back in his seat as she left the room, shaking his head slightly. “I’ve literally just walked into hell,” he muttered to himself, before getting up to actually find the files they had undoubtedly left him. 

He’d just found this “Scout”’s when the man walked in, plopping down in the chair like an angsty teenager getting called into the principal’s office. He didn’t say anything at first, just watching as Magnus made his way back to his own seat and began looking through his file.

“You gonna talk or what?” Scout finally snapped, not even earning a glance from Magnus. “What are ya, deaf?” he continued, leaning forward in the chair.

“27, huh?” the white-haired man suddenly spoke up, cutting off Scout’s next taunt. “Damn, and here I thought you were 17 at best,” he continued, shutting the file with a sigh. “Alright them. You wanna talk? Let’s talk about your dad, or lack thereof.”

That shut him up real fast. Scout crossed his arms, leaning back in his seat with a huff. “I don’t wanna talk about that deadbeat. Ma had to raise eight kids by herself, and where the hell was he!?”

And so the rant began. Magnus noted that Scout talked with his hands just like he did, flailing them around to help let out his frustration. There was a lot of bad blood between him and his mysterious father, and he learned that Scout took the MannCo job to help out his mother.

He had a full page of notes by the time the younger man was done, and he did genuinely seem more at ease, like a weight had been lifted from his shoulder. “Thank you, Jeremy,” he finally spoke up, offering the Scout a small smile. “You can go now. I’ll see you in two days.”

With that, his first “client” left, and soon after, the next one entered. He let Soldier rant about the ‘war’ he supposedly took part in, and about his wizard roommate, and about whatever else he wanted. Did he understand any of it? No. But Soldier thanked him on the way out when he was done, and that was good enough for him.

Next was the Pyro, who apparently didn’t talk much. Magnus discovered quickly that they were very similar, and spent the session letting them draw what they saw in Pyroland. He would definitely try to coax them out of their shell during these sessions, and ask about their world more often.

Now the Engineer was a man he could get along with. Southern, smart, and chaotic at heart- they would have been great friends if Magnus wasn’t his therapist. He let the man talk about his latest endeavors and let out his frustrations about things not working like they’re supposed to. He seemed happier when he left.

After that came the heavy weapons expert, aptly nicknamed Heavy by his coworkers. He didn’t actually say much. He really spent most of the session staring down at him, which would have bothered him more if he hadn’t already dealt with Soldier. He left just as silently as he came, and Magnus noted that he would definitely be a slow case.

The demolitions expert on the other hand, he wouldn’t shut up. Magnus was ninety percent sure he was drunk the whole time, even if he didn’t have a bottle in his hand. He talked and talked and talked about whatever came to mind. That was how he learned that his eye socket was apparently haunted. He was almost happy when he left.

On to support, starting with the Medic. That man was batshit fucking crazy, and that was the only note Magnus ended up taking. He talked about his successes as a “doctor” on the team the whole time, and even told the story on how he lost his medical license, which definitely didn’t gain much trust. He liked him anyway. If you’re not fucking insane, you’re not a scientist.

Out of all of them, the Sniper really caught his interest. He believed wholeheartedly that he was Australian, and it almost convinced him, but there was just enough of something else in there that there was no way he was born there. He was pretty quiet too, clearly into that mysterious assassin aesthetic. It was very easy to see he was touch starved though, so Magnus made a point of shaking his hand when he left.

“Last one,” he muttered to himself, just as the Spy entered the room, freezing when the therapist’s gaze caught his own. “Oh, you have to be kidding me,” he growled, gaining an eye roll from the man in the suit. He didn’t sit down.

“It’s good to see you again,” he started, not too surprised when Magnus looked him over, clearly searching for a weapon. “And by that I mean I thought you were dead.”

“You mean you wish I was dead,” Magnus countered, glaring at the frenchman. “And believe me, I wish you were dead just as much.”

He skimmed through his file, despite knowing damn well he didn’t need to. “There’s no helping you, Pierre,” he finally stated, practically spatting out the man’s name. “No matter what I do, you’ll still be the same shitty sleazebag you’ve always been. So get the hell out of my office before I shoot your ass.”

Spy certainly didn’t need to be told twice, turning on his heel and making his way out of the office. Magnus spent the rest of the day getting familiar with the files of his new “patients”, and scribbling on Spy’s face in every photo he could find.

This job wasn’t going to be like anything he was trained for in school, and he knew that all too well. Did he care? No. He wasn’t getting paid to actually care about these people. And he damn well intended to keep it that way.

There’s no point in losing a job you just got, and even though legally he shouldn’t be doing this anyway, he still wanted to keep at least a little professionalism.

Pierre could be an exception. As a treat.


	3. Chapter 3

Magnus ended up falling asleep at his desk that night. It had been pretty late when he’d arrived with Miss Pauling, and the sessions had been at least an hour a piece. So it was ass o’clock by the time he had all the paperwork done, and the desk was the closest pillow he had.

He slept through most of the day, flinching awake when the door to his office was slammed open. He instinctively reached for his gun while trying to simultaneously blink the blurriness from his vision.

“YOU’VE BEEN IN HERE ALL DAY, DAMN IT! TIME TO GET UP, MAGGOT!” Oh. He knew that voice. He left the gun, rubbing his eyes with both hands as a figure slowly came into view.

“Soldier…?” he finally asked, squinting at the man. “I uh…. what time is it?” he added, running a hand through his hair to get it out of his face.

“DOESN’T MATTER. YOU MISSED BREAKFAST BUT SPY SAID YOU ARE REQUIRED TO SHOW UP FOR LUNCH!” he announced, yanking Magnus out of his chair, throwing him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, and carrying him to the down-time room.

He didn’t fight it per se, but he was fucking FUMING at the idea that that french bastard was still pretending to give a shit about him. Guess he just got more ammo for their next session.

The next thing he knew, he was being thrown onto the couch, and immediately greeted by his Arch Nemisis™ looking down at him. “I’m going to kill you one day,” he announced, gaining a sigh from Spy.

“Right, well, do that another day, you need to eat first,” Spy replied, gesturing for Magnus to get off the couch. He didn’t move, out of spite. What a king.

The solution? Spy personally grabbed him by his shirt, dragging him off the couch while he kicked and screamed like a feral kitten being held by a human for the first time. He yelled a few profanities at the man, only to shut up the second he caught sight of the probably-not-actually-Aussie that he actually enjoyed talking to.

“Mornin’ Snipes,” he said, waving to the man with a grin, pretending he wasn’t on the floor. 

“Uh… mornin’? You alright there mate?” Sniper asked, glancing between Magnus and Spy before taking a slow sip of his coffee.

Wow, he actually responded. And here he thought he’d just have to talk at him. “Oh yeah, I’m good, this happened all the time back in Georgia,” he replied, before being promptly dropped and subsequently hitting his head on the ground.

He cut Sniper off from asking about it with a, “Forgot it’s a bit of a sore subject for ol’ salaud here. Can’t help it if he pretends there’s a past worth clinging to.” Hey, he got a laugh from that one!

He made the executive decision to lay here a little longer before getting up, but his plans were foiled by the sudden appearance of his new aussie friend looking down at him and offering a hand to help him up.

“Oh, uh.. thank ya kindly,” Magnus said, taking Sniper’s hand and allowing him to pull him to his feet. He let his hold linger a moment, taking note of the way the sniper seemed to loosen up a bit. Oh yeah, definitely touch starved.

And then he let go of his hand. “Oh good, no loose food,” he said, taking the little paper bag Pyro offered him. “Thank you very much my fellow arsonist,” he gave them a quick smile, paying attention to how they looked when they were happy.

“Alright folks, remember your next session is in two days. Every two days you fuckers will have to come to me so I can continue my cursory analysis of how fucked up you are, and after that you’ll have a mandatory session a week. If anyone lets Soldier into my office again, I’ll kill you all.”

And with that riveting speech, Magnus returned to the safety and comfort of his office, where he locked the door, and added more notes to everyone’s files, particularly focusing on Soldier’s, Sniper’s, Pyro’s, and very unfortunately, Spy’s.

He had to admit, it was weird seeing him try to “take care” of him like he used to. Also really fucking annoying, but he honestly attributed it to his god complex. He wants to feel important to someone, as he always had, but he made the same mistake he did all those years ago.

He chose the wrong damn person.


	4. Chapter 4

The next time Magnus left his office was to take a shower at literally midnight. What a night owl king. 

Since it was midnight, he truly and honestly expected everyone to be asleep. It was very likely that his brain just blocked out any sounds coming from Medic’s lab as he passed by it on the way to the locker room. 

His brain also managed to block out Sniper as he walked right past him to get into the room. He missed the way the aussie looked at him in confusion, and only realized he’d been there at all after he’d gotten in the shower.

For a moment, he considered peeking out and apologizing, but he decided that either Sniper would disappear by the time he got out or he could just say sorry if he was still there by then.

He ended up showering quicker than usual, now ninety percent sure that Sniper had followed him in and he was just too stupid to have noticed. That’s the smoke inhalation brain damage luv.

When he got out, Sniper sure was there, in the middle of taking his stuff out of his locker. “Don’t tell me the others are like middle school boys who have never been in the locker room before,” he spoke up, pausing drying off his hair for a moment.

His statement got a short laugh from Sniper (more of a snicker really) as he finished clearing it out. “Yeah, I have to clear out every month or so. As soon as I start trustin’ ‘em, Soldier or Scout do somethin’ that makes me hate bein’ in here with ‘em.”

Magnus clicked his tongue at that, taking a moment to aggressively continue drying off his hair before just leaving the towel on top of his head. “Those two are little shits, huh? Whoever let Soldier into my office today can and will face my wrath.”

“Pretty sure that was Spook,” Sniper offered, closing his locker door and almost laughing at the way Magnus seemed to bristle at the mention of the Spy. “You two have history, don’tcha? Isn’t it illegal for therapists to fraternize with their patients?” he teased.

Magnus narrowed his eyes at the questions, but also noted the way Sniper seemed more comfortable speaking to him than his own damn teammates. “I don’t know how to tell you this, Mr. Mundy, but legally I shouldn’t be doing this. I never even got my license and I’m a criminal. And it’s not fraternizing if I hate his stupid french guts.”

The other man hummed softly at the response, adjusting his hat slightly. “He doesn’t seem to know that,” he joked, patting Magnus’s shoulder lightly. “I don’t care what he does or thinks anyway. I think you’re wastin’ your time here. These people are beyond help.”

“Conveniently leaving yourself out?” Magnus replied, going into therapist mode almost instantly. “You’re the lone wolf type, aren’t you? You isolate yourself from your teammates, see yourself as different from them. You’d prefer to work alone but the pay is good enough that you stay, and your employer probably has dirt on you, preventing you from just taking off.”

“You’re probably attached to your teammates in one way or the other, but deny it because your reputation is more important than their friendship. And yet you protect them nonetheless, part of why you’re a support class.” You ever just get psychoanalyzed by the exhausted gay guy you’re talking to in the locker room?

Sniper stared at Magnus for a long moment, shocked by literally everything he just said. “Oh, uh, sorry. That was kinda instinct, I guess,” the white haired man quickly apologized, realizing how weird that probably was.

The aussie didn’t speak for a minute, before chuckling softly. “You should join us at the pub tomorrow. I have a feelin’ you could play a mean game of darts,” he finally said, only partly surprised by the shock on Magnus’s face.

“Oh… uhm…. sure. I’ll kick all your asses,” he responded, okay with moving away from his whole therapist instinct that just happened. “Like.. easily. Hatchets may not be the same size as darts but it’s the same throwing motion.”

Fear. “I don’t know how to tell you this mate, but they’re not even close to the same throwing motion.”

“………. They are if you don’t care about the safety of the people around him.”

That one coaxed a bark of a laugh from Sniper, one he muffled by covering his mouth with his hand. “Crikey, you’re insane. You’ll fit in just fine here,” he said, clapping Magnus on the shoulder and walking out of the locker room with him. “C’mon, I’ll show ya to your room, so ya don’t sleep in your office again.”

Magnus wasn’t sure if this was something he should go along with, but he let Sniper lead him away anyway, shooting a brief glare at a seemingly empty corner.

He wasn’t there to see it, but Spy dropped his cloaking with a soft sigh, leaning back against the wall and lighting a cigarette. 

Maybe if he had tried a lot earlier, it wouldn’t be so hard to get back on Magnus’s bad side. But he got swept up in all of this before he even got the chance. Was it truly so hard for the other male to see he still cared about him?

Pierre took a long drag of the cigarette, closing his eyes momentarily, and regretting it immediately as unwanted memories came to the front of his mind, playing out against his eyelids.

It was seven years ago. Seven. If he said anything about how long this grudge was being held, he had no doubt in his mind that Magnus would tell him he should know him better than that.

He knew it would be a lot of work to regain the man’s trust. But the fact that he was here, now, was more than enough proof that this was his only chance to try.

Now he just had to take that chance, instead of hiding in corners while he watches him hate him from afar. If he took too long… well, Sniper was undoubtedly good at stealing opportunities.


	5. Chapter 5

Magnus woke up face down on his bed, and frantically trying to free himself from the confines of his blanket. His fight led to him hitting the ground with a loud thunk.

He groaned quietly, rolling onto his side to alleviate the pain from the scar on his back. He ran his hands over his face before getting up, stretching his arms up in another attempt to get his scar to chill.

Apparently, today was a day of pain. If he had been at his own house, and not surrounded by psychopaths, he probably would have abstained from wearing a shirt today, so it would chafe the long gash on his back.

The compromise was a crop top.

Honestly, he almost forgot about the invitation to join the boys at the pub. Last night he expected them to go at night. According to the note he found tacked to the fridge, he was wrong, and these guys were completely down for day drinking.

Breakfast first, he decided. Well… more like lunch. And all it really was was an apple and a chugged cup of tea. He almost walked out without shoes like the idiot he is, but soon enough he was heading out-

\- And immediately spending over twenty minutes trying to hunt down the bar in Teufort. The town square/dump was the worst part, because for a minute he had no idea how to get around it (he figured it out after two minutes of staring). 

All in all, it was a while before he was stumbling through the door to the pub, ready to tear whoever wrote that note (he could already cross out most of the mercs, since they couldn’t read or write) a new one for assuming he knew how to get to the damn place.

However, his rage quickly diminished when Soldier appeared out of nowhere, clapping him on the shoulder as if they were old war buddies. “WE THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD, SON! GOOD TO SEE YOU MADE IT HERE IN ONE PIECE!”

Magnus stared for a moment, before deciding that was aggressive dad energy. He’d forgotten how much he’d missed out on dad vibes, but he definitely wasn’t expecting it from Soldier.

“Uh, yeah… I just got lost. The dump is…. badly placed, to say the least,” he replied, before suddenly being pushed forward as Soldier started moving.

“HAPPENS TO ALL THE NEW MAGGOTS! THAT’S WHY YOU SHOULD HAVE MEMORIZED THE MAP, LIKE I HAVE, AND LEARN TO ROCKET JUMP SO YOU CAN FLY OVER THE DUMP!!”

That definitely wasn’t going to happen, but Magnus nodded anyway, letting Soldier explain to him the “art” of rocket jumping. If it weren’t for his goal to stay detached from his patients, he would have adopted him as his new dad right then and there.

“I will definitely uh… look into that,” he said, when Soldier was done. “I don’t think I have the same level of toughness as you, but I’ll look into it.”

He was released from the man’s grasp after that, and stumbled his way over to the bar. “Whatever you have that’s strong enough to knock me out for three days, give me two,” he told the bartender. 

After he got his drink, and finished off the first one within two seconds, someone suddenly appeared next to him. Someone who almost got a glass to the head, but luckily reacted fast enough to grab his arm and stop him.

“Calm down there, mate, it’s not like I’m Spook,” Sniper joked, refraining from laughing at the look of remorse that immediately crossed Magnus’s face.

“Shit- uh- sorry,” Magnus muttered, waiting for Sniper to release his arm before putting his glass down. “Don’t tell me you still wanna try your luck against me throwing darts like hatchets. I’ll have to add ‘lack of self preservation’ to your file.”

Sniper just grinned at that, taking a sip of the drink he’d brought with him. “Not at all mate. In fact, I came over to ask if you’d team up with me. I could use those hatchet throwin’ skill of yours against Engie and Demo.”

He opened his mouth to respond, before closing it with narrowed eyes as he processed something. “Y’all call the Engineer Engie? And he lets you?”

The aussie gave a quiet chuckle at that, pushing his shades back up. “Easier than sayin’ ‘The Engineer’ every damn time. He doesn’t mind it. Probably thinks it’s endearin’ or whatever.”

“Hm, yes, well, most people find nicknames to be endearing. You may not think so, but to some extent ‘Spook’ is endearing as well. So is ‘Bushman’. I haven’t heard him call you that yet, but it’s in his file.” Magnus stop you’re scaring the hoes.

Suddenly, Sniper clapped him on the back, suppressing the urge to snicker at the man. “You can drop the therapist thing here. Otherwise you might get into a fight with the other mercs. But come on, we’ve been challenged.”

He grabbed Magnus’s arm (which would have resulted in him becoming a Cat™ if it was anyone else) and pulled him over to the dart board, where Demo and Engie were waiting.

The game started with Engie making the first move, getting closer to the bullseye than Magnus had expected, but he took note of the fact that he was a good shot. He’d ask about it in their next session.

Sniper went after him, which meant Magnus would be competing more against the Demoman than Engie. Sniper got a bullseye (two actually), as expected, and the other two mercs seemed vaguely annoyed more than angry at it.

Demo went after Sniper and did surprisingly well. Apparently competition was enough to sober him up enough to do good. Though, the lack of depth perception didn’t do him any favours.

He almost didn’t process it when it was his turn, but the second he was handed a dart he was rearing back like he was about to throw a goddamn rock. The funniest part was the way everyone moved behind him, to hopefully avoid the blast zone.

There was also a ninety percent chance that Spy was watching with an annoyed sigh, and that just fueled him to throw it harder, and fucking nailed it as a result.

He heard an incredulous “WHAT!?” from Engie behind him, but just gestured for the next dart and did the same damn thing. “I told you it’s the same motion as throwing a hatchet,” he joked, when Sniper returned to his side.

The aussie genuinely laughed in response, a sound that brought a smile to Magnus’s face for reasons his two braincells simply couldn’t process. He’s too stupid for all that.

“I never should have doubted ya, mate,” he replied when he was done laughing, readjusting his shades to their normal spot. “We’re definitely gonna win.”

The game went on a little longer, until Sniper and Magnus did eventually win. That was when Magnus learned of the ‘lose and pay for the rest of the drinks’ law, and he was very happy he had won, since he did not have the energy to enable Demo’s alcoholism.

He was pretty sure it was almost midnight by the time they finally left, which made him realize they probably did have off days, if they weren’t worried about BLU infiltrating their base while they were away.

Either way, he had fun, and admittedly couldn’t wait for the next dart game. Not that he’d let any of them know that. Especially not Spy, since he would undoubtedly use it against him.

Thinking about the way he’d been betrayed made his scar ache again, sort of a… psychological response to the trauma. He hid away in his room that night, throwing the offending shirt off and taking a knife to the walls.

Sometimes, being watched by that which is not there, is better than being completely alone.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning was the second session for each merc. He went in the same order, which gave him the chance to zone out to the white noise of Scout talking shit about his missing father, who Magnus was now 93% sure was Spy.

Scout definitely seemed happier again when his session was over, and even grinned at Magnus and gave him a, “thanks, doc!” as he walked out. Magnus didn’t have the heart to tell him he never finished school.

Soldier spent the entire session talking about the night before, particularly focused on Magnus’s “brutal technique” in darts. He had to interrupt three times to remind him that this wasn’t about him.

The man completely ignored him each time and just kept on, so he eventually just gave up and let the clearly batshit man compliment him on destroying the other team with “the fury of the entire army into one man”. He didn’t know how to tell him he was an anarchist.

Pyro’s session was his favourite, as he expected. They didn’t say much, but they presented him with a crayon drawn picture of both of them holding hands (with hellflame in the background, which was epic). Magnus then gave him a pile of papers, and pictures of Spy, and let them set them on fire which they stared at the rest of the time.

His new friend almost didn’t leave when the session was over, but he reminded them he still had everyone else to get to, and they could hang out later. They made him promise before taking off. He noted that Pyro probably wasn’t used to having friends. He momentarily wondered if they were mute.

Engineer didn’t show up for his session, which kind of surprised Magnus, since he arrived to his first session four minutes earlier than he expected. He considered going out to find him, but realized he was either hung over or busy.

Too bad for him though, this means his next session was going to be an hour longer to make up for lost time.

Demo didn’t show up either, but he got closure on that one when Medic leaned into the room to inform him that the scottish male was hungover straight to hell and could hardly walk, much less talk about his problems.

Unfortunately for Medic though, Magnus took that as a chance to start his session early. “So, you’ve told me about your skeleton fiasco,” he started, flipping through the doctor’s file. “I want to hear about your uh… soul theft.”

Medic lit up at that, which did not spark good vibes from Magnus. “Well, you see-” and he launched into the explanation of how he surgically removed his teammates’ souls, which would explain why they were so good at staying alive when there was literally no reason for them to live.

Then he got into the hell part, and how he’d made a deal with the devil himself and fully planned to use those souls to get out of a bind whenever he needed to. Magnus was now positive that he was batshit insane.

“Uh- alright there buddy- You can go now-” Magnus cut him off in the midst of his rant, offering an awkward smile. “I also have to get to Heavy’s session. Thank you for your time, Mr. Ludwig.”

He then pushed him out of the room, a look of relief crossing his face when he saw the large russian making his way down the hall to his office.

“Good afternoon big man! Gonna actually talk to me today?” Magnus joked. According to the blank stare he got in response, the answer was no. “Right then! I’m just going to vaguely talk about your past and hope you don’t break my neck!”

Luckily, his neck did not get broken. However, Heavy also stayed by his vow of silence, even as Magnus brought up his sisters and their predicament that led to them hiding out in the middle of nowhere living off of bears.

The large man left just as silently as he came, and Magnus was almost 100% sure that one day he was going to take him out (with a gun, not on a date :pensive:) for the bullshit he puts him through during these sessions.

He had to remind Medic that they’d already done his session earlier once Heavy was gone, but the man stayed at the door for another twenty minutes telling him the benefits of the uber-heart surgery and that he should totally get it done to himself.

Magnus was almost in tears by the time he left because he HATED the implications that Medic intended to put him in the field at some point.

This, somehow, did not escape the notice of Sniper when he showed up for his session. “Uh.. you alright there mate?” he questioned, sitting down slowly and ignoring the blankness of Magnus’s stare.

“Hm?” He perked up two seconds after the question, finally processing it. “I’m fine. Medic just… wouldn’t shut up about baboon hearts. He wants to put one in me and I want to break his arms. We can’t always get what we want.”

He then flipped through Sniper’s file, humming when he found what he wanted. “Right, let’s talk about your parents. They don’t like your job, correct? You say it’s because they believe you’re a crazed gunman, but surely you understand that they’re just worried for you.”

“Well, yeah, ‘course, but they could be a little more transparent about it. I don’t like arguin’ with my dad, but he doesn’t give me much choice,” Sniper replied, tipping his hat back a little.

“Sometimes parents aren’t very good at being transparent with their concerns. Especially not when their child is a grown man who runs around and kills people for money. At least yours didn’t try to sell you out.”

At this point, Magnus has successfully told Sniper more about himself than he had anyone else, and it was all completely accidental.

“Anyway, I wanted to do a little exercise today to help you talk to your father easier without it falling into an argument. Pretend I’m your dad, tell me everything you would tell him if you weren’t attempting to walk on eggshells. And you can say anything- I may not legally be a doctor, but I still stand by patient confidentiality.”

Sniper was quiet for a long moment as he debated this, before sighing softly. “Right. Let’s get it over with then. Uh… hey, dad?”

They spent the rest of the session going through this exercise, Magnus slowly coaxing Sniper into a more comfortable state of mind as they worked through it. By the time it was over, the aussie seemed like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

“You don’t have to do that with your actual dad before you’re ready,” Magnus reminded him, as he stood up to leave. “And if you need to, or even just want to, we can go through this again.” He then stood up himself, offering his hand to Sniper. “I’m here for you. Both as your therapist, and hopefully a friend as well,” he finished as he shook the man’s hand.

Sniper left the office feeling lighter, gently pressing his thumb against his palm as if he wanted to recreate the pressure.

He didn’t figure out why the lightness in his chest remained until he was back in his RV, and still pressing down on his hand. What kind of cruel fate is it to develop a crush on your cute, idiot of a badass therapist?

Magnus had to ready himself for Spy’s session by taking out the ol’ switchblade and start carving eyes into the wall behind his desk, just like he had in his bedroom.

Spy actually came in during the middle of all this, but Magnus noticed him instantly. “Sit down. I may as well get this over with.”

It was about a minute before Magnus finally stopped and sat down across from the frenchman. “Alright, spill it. Why the fuck have you been pretending to care about me? I noticed you left the pub early last night, which I assume was because of guilt because the scar you so lovingly left me was showing.”

“Is this guilt too? Do you finally feel bad for what you did seven fucking years ago? Did it take me showing up at your fucked up workplace for you to finally give a shit? You tried to kill me, Pierre! I fucking trusted you!”

He didn’t mean to get so angry so fast, but the look on Spy’s face made it well worth it. “I- You- I-” the man attempted, only to have Magnus cut him off.

“Bitch what?” Magnus suddenly cut in, throwing his hands up in frustration. “Speak, spit it the FUCK out. What do you wanna say? I’m listening. We’re all waiting, and you’re doing NOTHING. This is nonsense. You can’t even use words anymore. Go the hell outside for once, damn, goddamn, get a job or something.”

Spy sat there and stared at Magnus for a long time, making forced and unfortunate eye contact with the man. “…. I left to protect you,” he finally said. “I had to slash you because the people who hired you would kill both of us if I didn’t have proof. I’m…. sorry.”

“Who hired you?” Magnus demanded, without missing a beat. “Who the FUCK hired you, Pierre?”

He wondered if answering was worth it for a long moment, before sighing. “Your… former employers. From when you were in school.”

Magnus was silent for a minute before stabbing the knife into his desk. “Out. Now.”

The frenchman didn’t wait to question it, practically scrambling up from the chair and making his way out of the room that would undoubtedly become his grave if he waited much longer.

And as soon as the door closed, Magnus broke down. Whether it was depression or rage, he had no idea. But he definitely knew future him wasn’t in for a good time when he had to clean up his destroyed office.

He just… couldn’t believe that Spy had the audacity to apologize to him, after the damage had turned him into a very, very bad person.

Even so…… at least he tried. And maybe that could be enough for him for now.


	7. Chapter 7

Mick couldn’t focus for the rest of the day. The realization that he possibly liked Magnus as more than a friend held… bad implications. What if he got him killed? He couldn’t possibly live with that on his conscious. 

Well, usually he could, but this was different. Magnus was new, and even though he probably knew damn well what he was getting himself into, there was a high possibility he didn’t understand the extent of it.

The match they had that day would have been bust if it weren’t for the sudden renewal in Scout, Pyro, and Demo’s energy, because Mick simply couldn’t pay attention for the life of him. He must have died a hundred times before Scout finally grabbed the enemy’s intel.

It was in the middle of the third round that Soldier decided to bench him. At first, he argued because Soldier really had no right to do that, but Medic cut him off and pointed out how distracted he seemed.

So he sat the rest of the match out. And even then he was still think about that stupid therapist with his stupid deep brown eyes and his even stupider grin.

He really was in deep, huh?

By the time the match was over, Mick decided this simply wasn’t happening. There was no way he was crushing on someone he just met! It probably felt that way because Magnus had listened to him more than anyone else ever had. 

Yeah. That was definitely it. And within a few days, it would go away. There was no damn way he’d let himself fall for some stranger. Or… new friend.

Besides, even if the feelings were real, they definitely weren’t returned! Mick refused to believe that there was even a chance. Not with the way he interacted with Spy.

No, the feelings would definitely go away. And he sure as hell wasn’t going to tell him about them, because one) they aren’t real and two) he may be a therapist, but he’s also his friend, and he’s NOT about to ruin the relationship they were just starting.

So the plan was to keep it to himself. He could totally do that and not pop Spy’s head off his shoulders in order to protect his friend. Totally.

He ignored the thoughts that ran through his mind as he tried to fall asleep that night. Needless to say, he didn’t get much sleep.

—

Magnus found it easier to tolerate Spy after his apology, even though he still thought it was bullshit. 

Sure he still couldn’t look him in the eyes, or be around him without feeling rage boiling up, but he let him hand him a cup of tea….. after interrogating him and finding out it was Medic who actually made it.

Which actually wasn’t any better, he realized. He was just as scared of Medic poisoning him as he was Spy, but the thought was nice.

Most of the day after all the sessions was spent doing the usual paperwork. He obviously stayed up until 2 am working because he’s a king, and he’s pretty sure he fell asleep at his desk again and yet he woke up in his bed.

Weird.

Completely ignoring that, Magnus realized he woke up pretty early, and decided to make the mercs breakfast, as a treat. Also because he desperately wanted chocolate chip pancakes and he didn’t trust anyone else’s cooking.

He was in the middle of trying to figure out the correct proportions for ten people when strong arms were suddenly snaking around his waist and a cheek was resting on his head.

The panic he felt lasted for a very short time when he realized it was just Medic, who he knew damn well loved to hold anybody he could, so he was definitely no longer surprised.

“Mornin’,” Magnus greeted, almost cringing at how thick his accent was in the morning. “Is anyone else awake?”

“Nein,” came the sleepy response, as Medic nuzzled his hair slightly. “Well, Sniper might be, but I wouldn’t know, since he doesn’t come into the base until he needs to.”

Magnus gave a short hum at the response, finally figuring out the pancakes and pouring some of the batter into the pan. “Everyone likes pancakes, right? It would suck if someone didn’t. And by suck I mean would be awesome because I would get extra.”

The german doctor snorted at that, his grip tightening just slightly. Magnus figured it was a comfort thing.

“I honestly don’t know,” he replied after a moment, closing his eyes for a second. “They don’t let me cook. I don’t think they trust me.”

“Yeah, well, bold of you to assume that I trust you to cook,” Magnus responded, only half jokingly. “Eh, I’ll just have to hope they do. It’s whatever.”

They stayed in comfortable silence after that, Medic occasionally shifting and only moving away once to make Magnus a cup of tea (that he trusted a lot more than the last one). Honestly, this morning told him a lot more about the doctor than either session had.

It was better to see the mercs in their natural states, after all. Sure Medic is batshit insane, but he’s also clingy and likes to be included in the things his friends are doing.

Apparently, Magnus was too stupid to see that this was also him being gay.

Medic didn’t let go again until the other mercs started filing into the room, to pass the plates out to them to help Magnus out, but also because Sniper just appeared out of nowhere and the last thing he wanted was to be scolded by a dumb gay aussie.

“Didn’t peg ya for a pancakes kinda guy,” Sniper commented, leaning against the counter next to the stove.

“Yeah? Good thing you’re not the therapist in the relationship. Here,” Magnus handed Sniper a plate, vaguely aware of the way his face suddenly turned red at the mention of their relationship.

“Good timing, anyway,” he continued, pouring the rest of the batter into the pan for himself. “I was about to just give up on you showing up.”

“Don’t worry mate,” Sniper replied, leaning closer to Magnus and lowering his voice, “You won’t ever have to worry about me not runnin’ straight to ya when ya call.”

With that, he headed over to the table with the rest of the mercs, leaving Magnus to deal with an already drunk Demoman undoubtedly asking him to switch dart teams this weekend.

The distraction Demo gave was good- more for Sniper than Magnus really. The therapist didn’t have the attention span to listen to Demo’s “pros of joining my team and leaving Snipes in the dust” list and psychoanalyze what the fuck that meant at the same time.

Besides, he was also too focused on remembering how nice it felt to be held again for the first time in years. Maybe he would try that with Sniper later, to help him with his touch starved problem, that only seemed to be growing.


	8. Chapter 8

As it turns out, the mercs really like pancakes. Especially cooked by someone who genuinely knows how to make more than deep fried food or brownies (I’m looking at y’all, Engie and Demo).

So much so that Soldier actually took to waking Magnus up early, despite the threat of a hatchet to the skull, so he could cook for them again. Honestly, he was alright with being the designated cook, he just learned very quickly that Soldier couldn’t play the trombone.

Honestly, he wasn’t complaining about getting up earlier than he usually liked. Seeing the mercs in their natural habitat was one thing, but watching them desperately attempt to wake up was another. Knowing if someone was a morning person or not was way more useful than it seemed.

For example, Medic was a lot clingier in the morning, likely because he didn’t want to be up to begin with and he was chasing the warmth he’d left behind on his bed (Magnus also didn’t mind seeing him in a tank top every morning with his hair all messy).

Pyro tended to be up almost as early as Soldier, and they would try to help out as best as they could. Unfortunately, they got excited very easily, and Magnus figured out that he could give them any empty pan on the stove and put something unneeded but flammable in it and they would be satisfied the entire time.

He also learned that he had to keep an constant eye on the food, or Demo would sneak any kind of alcohol he could into it. He’d already hit him over the head a few times for that.

Soldier, surprisingly enough, also tried to help out in the little kitchen. He even started lowering his voice when he noticed how Magnus would cringe, and cover his ears. He was pretty sure that was the first time he’d ever heard his voice without yelling.

Scout and Sniper would usually show up last. Scout would stand in the kitchen and talk Magnus’s ear off, and Sniper would watch from afar and wait for the male to be done before making his way into the kitchen to see if Magnus needed help passing out plates and generally just to be around him.

Somehow, Magnus is still too stupid to realize that Sniper has a huge crush on him.

Magnus is always the last to sit down, but it took him a few days before he was comfortable eating around the mercs instead of hiding out in his office to do paperwork. Medic always took the chance to drape his arm around the man’s shoulders.

Magnus attributed it to clinginess, everyone else knew it was fucking gay.

No worries though, because our two braincell having protagonist is about to find out that this was, in fact, homoerotic. 

“Shatz- a word please?” Medic asked, approaching Magnus right before the match was about to begin, and gaining an adorably confused look from the therapist.

“I don’t know what the FUCK that means, but yeah, sure,” he replied, gesturing for Medic to enter his office and take a seat. “What’s up? Do you want to schedule an earlier appointment? Please say no. I can’t handle early appointments.”

Medic did laugh at that, which made Magnus relax. “Nein, nothing like that. It’s more of a… personal matter. Would you consider going on a date with me?”

Magnus paused, getting instant whiplash from the bluntness of the question. On one hand, you shouldn’t date your patients. On the other, mmmm Medic hot and he’s an illegal therapist anyway.

Apparently though, while he was weighing the pros and cons, his subconscious went ahead and made the decision for him.

“Sure. I don’t see why not,” he replied, shocked with himself momentarily, before offering a smile.

A smile that Medic instantly returned. “Wunderbar! The match is about to start, but we’ll talk more about it later. See you soon, shatz,” he stood up and grabbed Magnus’s hand, pressing a light kiss to the back of it before heading off to retrieve his weapons and whatnot.

And you better believe that Magnus just sat there like a fool trying desperately to process what the fuck just happened. His two braincells were working at full capacity as he struggled to put a single thought together.

In fact, he didn’t figure it out until hours after the match, when he was actually on the damn date. He barely even remembered getting dressed! Life is ass like that, I guess.

By the time his braincells finally started working again, it was the middle of the date, and he realized he was actually having a great time. It was like Medic could switch between being batshit crazy and genuinely endearing like a damn light switch. It was incredible.

And something Magnus had the aggressive urge to study further, because he is still very much a therapist.

They ended up returning to the base pretty late that night, but they got to hold hands so it was cool. Medic walked him to his room, and even leaned down to give him a good night kiss with a promise to see him in the morning before disappearing.

Magnus had to admit, that was the best night’s sleep he’d gotten in years.

Sniper’s, however, was the exact opposite.

He had to admit, he was hoping the date was going to be a bust. He hoped that Magnus would see that Medic is still fucking crazy outside the lab, but based on how happy he was when they returned, it would appear his wishes didn’t come even close to true.

Was this jealousy? He sure as hell hoped not. Because that would imply that his feelings for Magnus were real, when they definitely weren’t. They couldn’t be.

Magnus was his friend, so he should just be happy for him. He understood that better than he thought he would.

So why was he still thinking about it?


	9. Chapter 9

Magnus was admittedly surprised to walk into the sad excuse of a living room the next morning to find Miss Pauling ever so gracefully listen to Scout horribly flirt with her. She seemed relieved when she noticed him standing in the doorway, and waved Scout off to instead call him over.

“Am I getting fired already?” he questioned, wondering briefly if this was because of the date last night, or if they were just so sick of him being an ass already.

The woman quickly shook her head, grabbing him by the elbow to pull him out of the base, where someone else was waiting. They had a kind face, and small smile gracing their lips.

“So, we ended up running through some scenarios and realized you would most definitely be used as bait by one of the teams if you worked with both, so we nipped that in the bud by bringing in a new therapist for the BLU team,” she explained, standing between the two.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Summers,” the new therapist said, stepping forward and offering their hand to Magnus, which he shook without second thought.

“You too… uh….” Pronouns and names, some of his two least favourite things to learn. Fortunately, they seemed to expect this, and just widened their smile at him.

“Winters. I like to use the Mx title, but you can just call me Max if you want,” they explained, letting go of Magnus’s hand as they spoke. “I use they/them pronouns,” they added, their face brightening slightly as Magnus nodded.

He moved his hands to his pockets, finally returning Max’s smile. “Right. Pleasure to meet you Max. I’m sure the Administrator intends for us to work together, even if we’re working for different teams.”

That was when Miss Pauling spoke up again. “That’s exactly what she wants. Obviously you can’t exchange or share information about your respective teams, but she does expect you two to stay in contact with each other and discuss ideas amongst yourselves to find what works with the men.”

She clapped her hands together before either of them got to speak. “We want you to meet every weekend! Whichever day is up to you. Now, get back to work.”

And with that she was gone, and it was just the therapists left. “Just… call the phone at the base if you need to talk to me early,” Magnus suggested, gaining a nod from Max.

“Will do,” they replied, still smiling as brightly as ever, “I look forward to working with you.” Then they turned around and headed back into their base, Magnus doing the same. 

God is not real but if he was, he wouldn’t have let Medic grab Magnus by the shirt and yank him into his lab and throw him into a chair.

Though, he wasn’t against Medic immediately caging him in with his arms when he grabbed the two arms to his new prison. “What was that all about, shatz?” he questioned.

“Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy?” Magnus blurted out in response, acting purely on instinct. “Shit! Sorry- I am very tired. Pauling was just introducing me to the BLU therapist. And no, I will not share secrets.”

Yes, he did need to add the last part. You don’t need to be dating Medic to know the look he gets when he’s about to ask you to cause problems.

“And here I was hoping we’d get a leg up,” he joked, feigning offense at the witholded information. “No matter. I was wondering if you’d be able to stay here, in the lab with me today. I’d appreciate the company. I also need help with an experiment.”

Well that went from 100 to 0 real quick. “Sure thing sugar,” Magnus replied, making Medic smile and lean down to give him a quick kiss. 

“Wait- I’m not done,” he grabbed Medic by the front of his shirt (he wasn’t wearing his coat yet, what a gift) to stop him from moving, almost forgetting what he wanted to say at the sight of his adorably confused face. “I’m dumb as fuck. Don’t try to get me to help with chemistry shit. I’ll blow something up.”

Medic stared at him for a moment, before letting out a laugh. “No worries, igel, I’m not foolish enough to let you near any chemicals. I just need your eyes and wonderful personality.”

And so that was how Magnus spent his day- occasionally staring at things and blurting out what they looked like to him, which was apparently valuable to Medic. At some point, he realized the man just wanted to spend time with him, but didn’t know how to outside of work.

So, as any good therapist does, he came up with a plan.

“Come here for a second darlin’,” Magnus suddenly spoke up, reaching out to Medic for him to come closer. “Y’all’ve been looking a little stressed lately, so I think we should do something… peaceful tonight. It’s already pretty lately, so it’ll be completely dark by the time we get out there. Can you go round up everyone? I’ll grab Sniper and Spy.”

“Of course but… where are we going?” the “doctor” asked, momentarily distracted by the kiss Magnus pressed to the corner of his mouth.

The man just grinned at him, patting his arm lightly. “You’ll find out. Just go grab everyone, mon cher, and I’ll worry about the rest.”

It wasn’t long before our fun little fucked up therapist was knocking on the door of Sniper’s RV, smiling up at him when the door opened.

“C’mon birdman, we’re going hiking!” he said, grabbing Sniper by the shirt and dragging him over to where Medic had gathered the rest of the mercs. 

Magnus made his way to the front of the group, placing his hands on his hips and clearing his throat. These men are about to learn the hard way that he was a Theatre kid. “Listen up fuckers!” he started, his voice way louder than usual, but definitely not yelling. That’s projecting babee. 

“Y’all are always so damn stressed and tense so we’re going on a little hike! Best part about New Mexico is that you can see the stars perfectly in the sky. If we don’t end up back here by the end of the night, it’s not my fault, and not my problem! You’ll just suffer. Now let’s go!”

Yes, well, that wasn’t a very encouraging speech, but when Soldier yelled, “YOU HEARD THE MAN! GET HIKING MAGGOTS!!” everyone actually started to move.

He was right about it being completely dark by the time they arrived at the middle of nowhere place had decided on. “Now just relax. We’ve got all night and these starts ain’t going anywhere. Trust me, realizing your place in the universe is great for feeling at peace.”

Then he took a seat next to Medic, humming as the other man put his arm around him. The rest of them spread out, but Sniper stayed close by.

The aussie wanted to look up at the stars but…. Magnus was so much brighter than them in his eyes.

This was….. very bad.


	10. Chapter 10

“That one’s Hydra,” Magnus said, pointing up at a long line of stars in the sky. “Oh! And that one’s Casseopia, the queen! I had no idea you could see them both out here! There weren’t many visible constellations in South Carolina.”

He was so focused on the sky, that obviously he didn’t notice the three mercs looking at him like he’s hung the constellations himself. 

Sure, Spy also had a taste of melancholy in his face, probably because the amount of “you fucked UP” was hitting him harder than ever as he watched Medic lean over and press a kiss to Magnus’s temple.

But hey, at least he had actually been with the idiot before. Sniper was suffering even more aggressively because, as he watched the man go off about more and more stars in the sky, he was realizing that he was, in fact, in love with this dumbass therapist.

How do you even manage that? How do you fall for a guy who could easily pry all your deepest darkest secrets out of you just by smiling at you, or shaking your hand? That’s gotta be weird as fuck. There’s no way that’s normal.

“There’s Corvus right there,” Magnus continued on, despite Medic’s face’s newfound home pressed against the crook of his neck. “And during the virgo months, it’s almost right next to the virgo constellation. It’s not a virgo month though, so it’s only pal is Crater.”

“Why on earth did you go to school for therapy when you clearly love astronomy?” Sniper suddenly asked, gaining a look of surprise from Magnus. “It sounds like you would have been a lot happier with that.”

Magnus stared at him for a long time, which would usually make him nervous, but now he was just happy to see the stars reflecting in his eyes. “Funny story, I actually decided against it because I needed therapy myself, but didn’t trust any professionals.”

He then shrugged, as if that was completely normal. “Astronomy may be my passion, but it wasn’t what I needed at the time. Besides, I met someone very important to me during school, and I’d never go back if it meant I never met them.”

We love vague posting about people in Magnus’s life that the mercs won’t meet until I get to the chapter where Gray takes over.

“We should head back,” Spy spoke up, gesturing to the passed out Scout and Pyro (both of which Heavy threw over his shoulders as soon as leaving was mentioned).

Magnus paused, remembering how he literally told them that if they slept out here then they fucking slept out here.

And then he sighed, giving in to the soft side of himself. “Yeah, you’re right. If you say anything ever about me admitting that, I’ll kill you seven different ways. C’mon y’all.”

He gestured for the men to follow him, and they did, Medic holding onto his hand and Sniper having a gay crisis behind them. 

Heavy actually spoke to Magnus for the first time in a full sentence instead of grunts or “yes/no”, when he asked how Scout and Pyro were doing up on his… giant shoulders. He also asked how he was so huge and it was back to grunts.

Admittedly, Magnus passed out the second he hit a bed. Whose bed was it? He didn’t know. But it definitely wasn’t his, because someone else was there with him and he didn’t see any eyes on the walls on the way in.

The next morning he discovered that it wasn’t a bed at all and he had, in fact, passed out on the couch with… Sniper? Pretty iconic of them if you asked him.

“Up and at ‘em, Birdman,” he said after a moment, very much trapped under Tall Aussie Man, who made a weird, almost choked sound as he flinched away and squinted at Magnus in an attempt to make out who the fuck he was.

Magnus had to admit, sleep bedhead Sniper was cute as fuck. His hair was all fucked up, his glasses (that somehow survived the night) were crooked, and he very clearly had no idea what was happening.

“Seriously dude, this is like… my only day off for three months I got places I gotta be,” he teased, snapping Sniper out of… whatever was going on in there.

And let me tell ya, what was going on was GAY. Because sleepy Magnus turned out to be cute as fuck too. That man had NOTHING but sleep in his eyes, he looked like he was two seconds away from passing right back out.

“Oh- yeah- sorry mate,” he quickly apologized, practically scrambling off of the other and only successfully falling to the floor. “Wait. You’re off today? Where are you going?”

Magnus stood up and brushed his shirt off, hoping to change and get out of there as fast as possible. “That’s for you to not find out ever. My personal life will stay personal, thank you. See you fuckers later.”

He did a mocking little bow, headed to his room to change, and BOUNCED. The base wasn’t close enough to Roswell for him to be wasting his time with goodbyes and shit.

Well, he left Medic a little note. Didn’t want him to get worried or anything.

Did it take five hours to get to Roswell? Yes. Was it well worth it when he was greeted by his ex-partner and best friend with a hug and a cup of tea? Absolutely.

“Sorry I couldn’t get my off days to you sooner, shit’s been hectic,” Magnus explained as he sat down in one of the living room chairs, taking a sip of the tea. “Jon’s at school right? How’s he been?”

His ex-partner, a short amab person with curly black hair, dark brown eyes, and freckles all over sat down on the couch across from him before replying. “It’s no problem. I understand that working with mercenaries can’t be easy.”

They leaned back against the couch, chuckling softly. “He’s been great. Sad he can’t see you as often anymore, but those letters you send really do make his whole day. I don’t doubt that he’ll be ecstatic to see you when he comes home.”

The two of them spent the rest of the time they had to wait just catching up with each other. Sure, there was a LOT Magnus couldn’t say, but he could absolutely talk about his batshit boyfriend (without saying he was one of the mercs) and the progress he was making.

Besides, Micah was doing most of the talking anyway. They had a lot to tell him about Jonathon and how they were doing out here while he was forced to be away from them.

Magnus stood up when they door suddenly opened, smiling at how his son stared at him before lighting up and practically throwing himself into the man’s arms.

Jonathan was 16 now, and just barely an inch shorter than Magnus. He had curly brown hair with white bangs (an unfortunate genetic gift from his dad) and the same brown eyes as Magnus. 

“Hey buddy,” he said, pressing a small kiss to the boy’s head. “Sorry I couldn’t visit sooner. Buuut, I was thinking I could take you to see that movie you’ve been so excited about, yeah? It’s been a while since we’ve done something with just us.”

“That’d be great. Just let me drop my bag in my room,” Jon replied, grinning at him before dashing through the house to literally throw his backpack into his room before darting back into the living room.

Magnus lightly pat Micah’s shoulder, smiling down at them. “I’ll have him home by 10, promise. I’d stay the night but… I have a feeling I’d get tracked down. I’ll sure as hell keep him safe though.”

With that, they headed out for a day of father/son bonding- something Magnus wanted to do a lot more often but never got the chance with his new job.

He got him home at the time promised, stayed for another two hours, before reluctantly heading back to the base. He didn’t answer any questions about his whereabouts once inside-

\- In fact, he headed straight for his room and sulked. It was getting harder and harder to keep Jonathon from getting involved in his… other life the older he got. He was getting more perceptive and kept bringing up Pierre almost every visit.

He was starting to wonder if he’d be safer without him. But every time he did, he just reminded himself that even if he would be safer, he wouldn’t be happy. 

And what’s the damn point in being safe if you’re not happy about it? No, he couldn’t do that to his kid. He’d rather kill every fucking merc MannCo could hire than leave his son with no explanation.

Hell, he’d burn the whole world to the damn ground to ensure Jonathon’s happiness.


	11. Chapter 11

“How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t need this damn surgery?” Magnus was currently sat down on Medic’s work table, his boyfriend running around and grabbing what he needed.

The man tsked at the question, finishing setting up his work space. “Shatz, the likelihood of you being put in the field is simply too high for me to allow you to be killable.”

Allow him…. to be killable…. hm. Magnus decided he actually seriously hated that. So what did he say about it?

“Okay, whatever, let’s get this over with. Though, I am well aware that literally everyone’s heart has exploded when you put it under that thing, so you better be quick getting the new one in my chest.”

This is the “this might as well happen” John Mulaney skit at this point.

Magnus removed his shirt as instructed and was about to lay on his back when Medic stopped him with the slightest touch to the scar on his back. “What happened here?” he asked, and he briefly wondered if he could come up with a lie fast enough.

Spoiler alert: he couldn’t. “I made a pretty big mistake seven years ago, and that was the consequence. I don’t really like talking about it, so I’d appreciate it if you just… dropped it.”

The silence that followed was near deafening before Medic gave a, “Alright!” and nudged him onto his back, not even giving a warning before administering the anesthetic.

Wow, if he knew it was that easy to make people stop asking, he would have stopped breaking kneecaps YEARS ago.

At least the thought distracted him long enough that he didn’t even notice the saw entering his chest until it was already wide open.

“I have a question,” he spoke up, only vaguely watching as Medic reached into his chest and fucking plucked out his heart. “Why am I still awake?”

The man hummed softly at the question, sticking the uber device onto Magnus’s heart. “The anesthetic doesn’t make you sleep, silly, it just lessens the pain,” he answered cheerfully, right before blowing up his boyfriend’s heart.

“I’m actually going to lose my mind,” Magnus decided, turning his head to watch Medic reach into his fridge and pull out a heart labelled “sheep”. Good to know he was about to become a full Aries.

“Don’t be silly mein kleiner Igel, if you were going to lose your mind, it would be gone by now,” he was… far too cheerful about all of this as he super charged the sheep heart before shoving it back into Magnus’s chest.

He grabbed his medigun, grinning down at his very out of it lover. “This part is my favourite!” he said, gaining a small, nervous smile from Magnus. He switched the device on, pulling it down to the other’s chest and healing the cavity right up.

“This would have killed me without the heart, wouldn’t it,” Magnus asked (it sounded more like a statement- he was near 100% sure it would have blown him up).

“Oh, absolutely,” Medic replied happily, pulling the gun back and wiping the copious amounts of blood off of his face as Magnus sat up on the table and poked at where he absolutely should have scarred. “Did you know our current Scout is actually the second one? I killed the first one with the medi-gun by accident.”

What the fuck. “Please tell me you haven’t told him that.” He almost seemed relieved when Medic shot him an offended look.

“Of course not, that would most likely drive him mad. He’d never trust me again,” Medic replied, offering a rag to Magnus so he could clean the remains of his original heart off of himself too.

Honestly, the best thing that came out of this was the sight of Medic with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. That’s enough arm for Magnus to ignore the fact that he could… feel his own heart beating. He was 90% sure his white blood cells were going to attack it and he was going to drop dead.

“Oh! We also had to do the surgery today because you’ll be participating in today’s match,” Medic suddenly said, dropping a box into Magnus’s lap. “The Administrator sent this over yesterday, while you were out.”

Right. The Administrator. The bitch he was planning to murder because she knew way too much about him. “Have any of you ever made direct contact with her?” he asked, hopping down from the table and opening up the box.

“Nein, Pauling is the only one who has seen her person,” Medic replied, getting back to work as Magnus changed into the suit (literally a fucking suit. Does she think he’s Spy?) provided to him. “I often wonder if she ever leaves wherever she is.”

It’s sounding like she didn’t. But you know what? He just gave him the key to finding that old bitch. If Miss Pauling was the only one who knew where she was, there was no doubt in his mind he could get the location from her.

Once the suit was on, he discovered there were also weapons. Fuck the melee and gun provided, he was focused on what looked like a mini flamethrower. He took off his jacket, rolling up the sleeve on his right arm to attach it to his forearm.

“Dude, look at this thing,” he said, turning around to face Medic and show off his fun new weapon. Medic just stared at him, both having a gay moment and wondering how he became “dude”.

“Shatz,” he finally said, placing a hand against Magnus’s cheek, “don’t call me dude. We were literally making out seven minutes ago.”

You know what? Fair enough. “Sorry darlin’, I’m just excited. She gave me a mini fucking flamethrower! I didn’t even know those existed!”

If you couldn’t tell, he is VERY excited to get on the field and burn people to death. He knows from experience that arson is therapeutic and he no doubt that this would be the exact same.

Medic just chuckled at his boyfriend, pressing a little kiss to the top of his head. “Your excitement proves to me that you will be wonderful on the field.” He then glanced at the box, smiling when he realized he definitely wasn’t going to use those two weapons.

“We’ll be waiting in the spawn room for you- I’m assuming you’ll want to grab your open weapons,” he said, taking Magnus’s hand and kissing the back of it before grabbing his lab coat and medigun and heading out.

“He knows me so well,” Magnus muttered, pulling his jacket back on and dashing to his office to grab his hatchets and revolver before heading to the spawn room.

“Good morning fuckers, let’s kick some ass!” he announced once arriving, gaining a cheer from Demo and the offensive classes, a concerned look from Heavy (how sweet), gay panic from Sniper, and something I can only describe as clear fear from Spy.

Heavy was so concerned, in fact, that he picked Magnus up by the back of his jacket and looked him dead in the eyes just to say, “Puny man will die out there. Stay behind Heavy.”

It’s almost like he’s trying to make him fall in love with him. “Damn, okay, I can do that. I mean- I’m 90% sure I’m support anyway.”

Heavy just nodded, dropping Magnus and stepping in front of him as the countdown started.

Finally, a truly interesting day.


	12. Chapter 12

So… Magnus did not end up staying behind Heavy.

I mean, he did for the first few minutes, but he almost set him on fire one to many times, and decided to strike off on his own. He’s pretty sure Heavy hasn’t noticed yet.

The BLU Spy, however, had noticed. Because Magnus has set him aflame five times now and when that doesn’t finish him off, he hacks his head off with a hatchet. The worst part was the way Magnus spoke to him as if they were old friends, and not trying to kill each other.

He was targeting the frenchman simply because every time he found him, he was about to backstab one of his teammates. Fucking idiot.

Eventually, he realized that they weren’t getting any closer to the briefcase (he suspected it was because of the Sniper) and decided to go even further off on his own. Maybe running headfirst into the enemy’s base wasn’t the Intellectual™ thing to do, but Magnus isn’t exactly known for his big brained ideas.

To his credit, nobody noticed him running in. The Heavies were too occupied with each other, and that usually caused chaos for everyone else too.

Fortunately, the bases had the exact same layout. That’s just… lazy designing on MannCo’s part, but it was very useful for him (since he couldn’t sleep one night and instead spent the whole time memorizing the layout of the base) because he didn’t have to struggle to find the intel room.

Did he almost get blown up on the way in? Yeah. Did he also realize that Pierre had been following him the whole time when the Soldier dropped dead out of nowhere? Also yeah, but he decided that was something to argue about later.

Besides, you can’t argue when you’re running for your life from an enemy Pyro in the basement. It was… very hard to stay just out of their range but hey, he knew something they didn’t.

And that was his ability to jump real high.

Yes, technically he used the wall as a boost, but the power of jumping backwards over an enemy and then removing their limbs from the joints with hatchets still remained.

With them taken out, he could run into the intel room, grab the briefcase, and get the fuck out of there. When did his teammates get into the BLU base? He had no idea. But now he had protection from his own Pyro and Demo, and Medic trailing behind him with a healing stream.

“You know,” he called out to his boyfriend as they made a mad dash through the halls, “this is a lot more fun than I expected!” He heard Ludwig laugh behind him, and it was enough to keep him going to their own basement.

He threw the briefcase down on the table, paused to catch his breath, and headed right back out to continue the fight.

RED actually won pretty quickly that day. Was it because Magnus was participating? Probably not. He’s actually pretty sure it’s because seeing someone new on the field threw BLU off their game (it certainly scared the shit out of Elias and Dean) while also motivating RED to do better than usual.

Either way, they won, and Magnus passed out the second he was on something soft (it was the couch). What he wasn’t expecting to wake up to was Heavy just… sitting across from the couch, but that’s what happened.

“Good… morning?” he greeted carefully, unsure why Giant Man Who Probably Hated Him was just sitting there. Menacingly.

“Afternoon,” Heavy corrected, which just confused him more. “Everyone else is at pub. Did not want to leave you alone.” How sweet? How the fuck was he supposed to respond to that? “Doktor was afraid other team doktor would kill you in sleep.”

Oh. Elias dropped by? “Elias?” he asked, only vaguely noticing the way his voice cracked. Heavy just nodded as an answer. “He wouldn’t kill me, I’ve known him since high school.”

Heavy just stared at him for a moment. “Good to know,” he finally said, before standing up and grabbing Magnus by the arm, which made him go instinctively limp.

That didn’t stop Huge Russian Dude from picking him up like he weighed nothing, throwing him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, and carrying him out to the pub.

“You know you’re not obligated to do this, right?” Magnus asked after a moment of silence.

“Yes.”

“Then why are you?”

“I would not leave doktor behind, I will not leave angry therapist behind.”

“Dude…. that’s so sweet.”

“Mention it to others, and Heavy will turn you inside out.”

And on that cheerful note, silence reigned once again, until they entered the pub and were hit by sudden cheering. “Please tell me those aren’t our teammates.”

Heavy didn’t answer, which wasn’t exactly what Magnus wanted to hear. He practically clung to the man as he tried to set him down, struggling aggressively in his hold. “Please- I can’t deal with- if they try to praise me I’ll implode- please don’t do this to me Heavy-”

He’s like an antisocial cat when it comes to praise. That didn’t stop Heavy from prying the tiny man off of him and dropping him into a seat, where he was promptly bombarded by Demo, Scout and Soldier.

He didn’t even understand what they were saying, since they were all talking over each other, but god has he never been so happy to see Spy when he suddenly appeared, placing a hand on Magnus’s shoulder and whisking him away from all the bullshit.

“Before you get angry- I’m sorry. I know I’m the last person you want to be alone with, but you looked so uncomfortable and I know you hate the spotlig-” Spy’s overly long apology was cut off by a relieved laugh from Magnus.

“Trust me, I wanna yell at you for following me earlier, but thank you SO much dude,” he said, grinning at Spy. He’d never admit it, but the sight of Magnus’s smile targeted at him for the first time in years made his knees weak.

The frenchman cleared his throat, attempting to keep even the slightest idea of composure. “De rien, mon ch- mon ami,” he replied, extremely relieved that Magnus didn’t seem to notice his slipup.

“Oh, also, don’t fucking follow me next match, or I’ll kill you,” Magnus added with another smile, patting Spy’s shoulder before heading over to where Sniper, Medic, and Heavy were (away from the rowdier mercs, thankfully).

Spy just stood there, watching him walk away once again. How hard was it to just tell him how he feels?

Immeasurably so.

Especially when he saw the way Magnus seemed so happy with Medic, or how comfortable he was around Sniper and Heavy. How was he supposed to compete with that? He’s made too many mistakes to be anyway on the scale.

“Don’t just stand there you fucking weirdo!” Magnus suddenly called out, waving Spy over. “I’m in a good mood and you better take advantage of it, dumbass!”

He couldn’t help but smile slightly as he joined the less rowdy mercs. Maybe it wasn’t as hard as he thought it was. After all, it was starting to look like all he had to do was catch him in a good mood.

How hard could that be?


	13. Chapter 13

Hard. Apparently it was fucking hard to get Magnus in a good mood without someone else being there, because ever since Heavy started actually talking to him, he’s been stuck to him like a damn leech.

Sure, he was still as silent as a corpse when Magnus needed to rant, but now he actually spoke to him in multiple sentences not only during sessions but outside of them too. It led to a lot of teasing from the southerner, and a lot of halfhearted threats from the russian.

Honestly, Magnus was just happy to finally be on his good side. Sure he didn’t understand half the things he was saying, because russian was an enigma to him, but at least he was saying anything at all.

Medic also joined in on the teasing wagon, except he came for both of them. He’d bully Heavy for warming up to him (though he would phrase it as “seeing why he liked him”) and would bully Magnus just as lovingly for being so enamored with the fact that they were now on speaking terms (it was practically all he’d talk about).

He also bullied his boyfriend for being the most oblivious man in the whole damn base.

Has Medic already seen and recognized the effect the therapist had on three (excluding himself) of their teammates? Of course. Was he utterly baffled by the fact that Magnus, a THERAPIST, was unable to see that a whole THREE OTHERS were, in fact, in love with him? Yeah. A lot.

It was insane how a man could do three years of college specifically for reading people and working with them only to end up extremely oblivious to any type of Feelings™.

Though, judging by how quickly he picked up on the BLU Sniper’s interest in Elias only from what his friend told him, it seemed he was only oblivious to things happening to himself.

That’s probably some form of selectivity. How else do you manage to so heavily miss things that are concerning yourself?

Maybe that’s how he managed to make his suggestion while Sniper’s reaction went flying over his head.

“So, Mick, one of the first things I noticed about you when we first met is that you seem to be quite touch starved,” Magnus said, getting the session off to a great start. “I’m sure you’ve noticed my subtle attempts to help that. But I’ve decided to go for a more direct approach.”

Not comforting words from a headstrong idiot, are they? “You mercs seem to work better with a straightforward approach. Heavy likes for me to lead conversations without asking, for example, so I can only assume the same will work for you.”

Hm. It’s getting worse. Looks like he will Not be able to escape whatever dumbass supreme has planned. “Basically, and tell me if you’re uncomfortable, I’d like to be more hands on with you. You seemed content after the night we apparently passed out on the couch together, so I’d like to recreate that, but purposefully.”

How did he not see the way Sniper’s face turned red at the suggestion. How the fuck is he that blind.

“I- Uh-” just speak you gay bitch, “I honestly wouldn’t mind that, mate.” There it is. Did he mean to say that? No. But here we are. And he’s not taking it back so subconsciously he did mean to say that.

“Great!” Magnus you dumb fuck. “I’ll see you tonight then, that’s all I wanted to ask you. Unless you’ve got something you want to talk about? We could continue with your parents, if you’d li-”

“Nope,” Sniper quickly cut him off, hastily standing up from the chair. “I’m uh- I’m good. See ya tonight.” And with that, he fucking bolted. He was outta there like the Flash running off to save his wife.

Magnus just watched him go, vaguely aware of the fact that that was weird, but brushing it off because he’s apparently huge brained.

Did Sniper hide out in his camper the rest of the day? Yeah, he didn’t have much of a defense against his own gay when he was around everyone else. I mean, this is a man who prides himself on not getting emotional. And yet here he was, pining for an idiot.

An idiot who showed up at his door around eleven o’clock, ready to pass the fuck out after Medic purposefully made his own session last three hours. “Hi,” he greeted, moving into the RV. “Is this a sniper thing? Camping out in an old ass RV instead of living in the base with everyone else?”

Mick just stared at him for a moment, before shaking his head. “Uh, yeah. You learn to stay on the move when you’re an assassin,” he replied, watching from afar as Magnus scoped out the place.

“Right. Well, c’mere,” he said, reaching out to Mick and making little grabby hands to get him to come over. He obliged after a moment’s hesitation, almost immediately getting grabbed and pulled onto his bed.

“This is way more comfortable that I expected,” Magnus admitted, readjusting a little so that he was laying flat on his back, leaving Mick the ability to lay however he wanted.

Which was with his head directly on Magnus’s chest. I mean, if you’re gonna be a suffering gay, you might as well get the most out of it.

Magnus reached over and clicked the light off, before letting his arm drop back onto the bed. Not two seconds after this he started carefully running his right hand through Mick’s hair, just because the fucker couldn’t sit still.

Surprisingly enough for both of them though, that simple gesture was enough to make Mick fall asleep almost instantly. Sometimes all it takes is a little comfort to make someone pass the fuck out.

Magnus fell asleep soon after, only to wake up at 2 am with no idea where the fuck he was and panicking for a full second before he noticed Mick.

Relief immediately set in, and he settled down, Mick shifting in response. God he was cute as fuck when he was asleep (not in a creepy way). His hair was all messy, he was softly snoring, and practically fucking clinging to Magnus.

It took a whole three minutes of our dumbass boy staring at the aussie to realize it wasn’t fucking platonic.

“Hm,” he hummed softly, carefully dragging his fingers through Mick’s hair. “That is… awfully gay of me,” he added in a mutter, before deciding this was a problem for the morning, before pressing a kiss to the top of the man’s head and passing right back out.

He did not deal with it in the morning. In fact, he either completely forgot it ever happened, or he purposefully ignored it. 

“Don’t take forever gettin’ to breakfast,” Magnus told Mick, poking his cheek lightly as he got up. “If you do, I’m givin’ your pancakes to Soldier,” he added, completely unaware that he was near incomprehensible with how thick his accent was at the moment.

Mick didn’t even get the chance to let him know that he didn’t understand a damn word he said before he was out the door and headed back to the base.

The aussie immediately laid back down with a soft sigh, staring up at the ceiling. So he could definitely survive this. Plus, Magnus was right. He definitely slept better last night.

Probably because his heartbeat was the best damn thing he’d ever fallen asleep to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ngl i feel kinda bad for y'all because not only is this months after Guns and Roses naturally ended, it's also not on the platform i originally posted on so you have no idea what was going through my mind when i was writing and haven't seen my ominous posts


	14. Chapter 14

In true gay dumbass fashion, Magnus never brought up what happened that night. Not that he got the chance to anyway, since Soldier threw some boots at him and a standard issue uniform literally right after breakfast.

“Okay, I still fail to see what’s happening here,” Magnus said, once he joined Soldier outside like he was told to. “I also can’t understand how the fuck you knew what size boots I wear.”

Apparently that wasn’t as funny as he thought it was. “I asked Miss Pauling, and she didn’t tell me! She sent the uniform and boots down to us instead!” The lack of trust in Soldier was almost sad, but necessary because of the lack of braincells.

But hey, at least he wasn’t yelling like he usually did. “Good to know. Sort of. I don’t like them having that information on me.” As if they could use it against you??? Gonna kill you by knowing your shirt size????

“Why are we out here anyway? It’s like…. 7 am and awfully bold of you to assume I can process anything ever this early in the morning.” That’s true, his braincells are usually owned by Jonathon around this time.

Soldier then grabbed Magnus’s arm (he’ll never admit to whatever sound he made at the shock of being grabbed) and readied his rocket launcher. “I’m doing dad things! Hold on tight, maggot!”

“Dad????” He barely got time to get the question out, before they were in the goddamn air, screaming and clinging to the man for dear fucking life.

No matter how many times Soldier has done this, Magnus was almost one hundred percent sure he was gonna get dropped and die. The worst part is that he’d respawn and be unable to escape the rocket jumping hell.

They landed on a nearby roof (that was very thankfully not wood) and Soldier gave Magnus like half a second to recover before taking off again.

He didn’t give Magnus a real break until they were at least an hour in, and mister therapist man literally fell over the second he was on a solid surface. “How did you- how did you fail to give me warning- every time-?” he wheezed, his throat sore from Screaming.

Soldier just laughed at the question, fists planted firmly on his hips as if he hadn’t been flying for the past hour. “If you get a warning you get soft! Can’t have you getting soft on me, son!”

Magnus just stared up at him like he was crazy, before being yanked to his feet by his arm and having the rocket launcher shoved into his hands.

“It’s time for you to strike off on your own and make me proud, son!” Soldier clapped him on the back, a movement that made him want to vomit, before stepping back a few feet. That… did not instill confidence.

Finally, Magnus took a deep breath, pointed the rocket launcher at the roof they were on, and basically just shot himself into the fucking air.

He was ninety percent sure he broke the shoulder he landed on. He didn’t actually feel the pain, but he could also barely breath and he was clutching his limp left arm as though he could.

Of course, it wasn’t long before it DID set in, and believe me when I say that he was close to crying for the first time in five years. He hardly even noticed Soldier when he appeared above him, but squinted at him when he did.

“Hm. Maybe rocket jumping isn’t for you. Yet, anyway!” he said, grabbing Magnus and throwing him over his shoulders. “No worries, maggot! I’ll work you up to it! Probably should have taught you how to use a rocket launcher first!”

As… painful as this way, Magnus had to admit that it was rather nice to see the man so excited. They’d both been pretty rude to each other when he had shown up, but now Soldier had apparently self-assigned himself as dad???

He realized it was easier to just not ask.

And you know what, Medic was NOT happy with Soldier when he dropped his fucking boyfriend onto his work table. “Mornin’ babe,” Magnus managed to say, the crackle in his voice just spurring on the anger.

Fun fact about Medic! He yells in German when he’s angry. Neither of them understood German. Soldier sat through the whole lecture having absolutely no idea what the fuck was happening. Medic could see that, and continued on anyway.

Eventually, he let Soldier free so he could fix Magnus’s shoulders (it took six minutes to finally convince Soldier that it was okay for him to leave, and that his “son” wasn’t going to die from an injured shoulder).

As it turns out, it was just dislocated. The pain was just worse than it would usually be because of Magnus’s shitty joints that he and all doctors absolutely despise. 

So Medic popped it back in place, instructing Magnus to try not to move it around too much while simultaneously watching his gay idiot immediately start moving it around. He got bopped on the head for that one.

He let him go with a little kiss and a “stay out of trouble” threat, which was far better than whatever bullshit they sent kids who went to the doctor’s office off with.

With that hell over, Magnus decided he needed something more calming to do. Like baking a cake, something he is very bad at.

Okay, hear me out, that wasn’t the original plan. But they didn’t have the right stuff to make brownies or cookies, so this was the only other option. The general idea was that he’d warn everyone that it’s Shit and then just have his Bad Cake to himself.

It was a well set plan, until Pyro appeared out of nowhere and decided to help. Magnus could decipher what they were saying at this point, so he was surprised when they asked to help, but he couldn’t say no to them.

“Okay, you mix the dry stuff and I’ll mix the wet stuff, then we’ll mash ‘em together, alright?” Magnus handed Pyro a bowl, pushing all of the dry ingredients over to them before moving over to a different section of the counter to work on his side.

They both learned quickly that it’s very easy to set flour on fire. “Jesus!” Magnus rushed over, tossing the bowl into the sink with his good arm and quickly turning the water on to put it out.

Once that was over, they restarted (after Pyro’s lighter had been confiscated). They managed to get all the way to putting it in the oven with no real problems. Sure they were covered in cake batter because they’re idiots and incapable of keeping clean, but at least they got it into the oven.

Their success sure as hell didn’t last long though, because they both got distracted by some wack drunken story Demo was telling and didn’t realize their timer had been going off until the oven was practically on fucking fire.

Needless to say, they are now banned from cooking or baking together. If one of them is in the kitchen, the other isn’t allowed to be in there too. A stupid rule, if you asked either one of them, but necessary, if you asked literally everyone else.

In the end, Magnus and Pyro ended up spending the rest of their day drawing. And Magnus was perfectly content with just sticking to that, if Sniper had not appeared out of nowhere and instantly reminded him that they really do need to talk about the Happenings™ of the previous night.

“Hey birdman,” Magnus said, grabbing Sniper’s arm to get his attention. “Meet me in my office later. I’ve got something I need to talk to you about. Medic might be there, depends on how my talk with him will go.”

And on that fun note, he just straight up fucking disappeared.

Where to you ask? Well, to his weird little conspiracy closet so he could keep looking for the Administrator and keep an eye on a new player to the game that he was almost completely certain was a villain.

I mean, if your first name is Gray and you hate your brothers, you’re destined to cause problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all when i tell you i stared at chapter 13 trying desperately to make sure it was actually the right chapter... ya boy's head is empty and he's going a little bonkers
> 
> edit: Y'ALL I'M EWJFHBWEJHFW THIS ISN'T CHAPTER 14 I ACCIDENTALLY POSTED CHAPTER 15 I'M LOSING IT FOR REAL


	15. Chapter 15

Medic had to awkwardly stand in the office first. Magnus told him to sit down (like.. near demanded it) but apparently Medic just blanks the fuck out when he’s nervous.

“Babe, it’s not that serious,” Magnus assured, taking Medic’s hands in his own to help calm him down a bit. “I’m not leaving you, if you think that’s what this is about. I just need to… ask you something.”

“Alright,” Ludwig finally responded, slowly sitting down, much to Magnus’s relief. “What’s this about then, shatz?”

Magnus leaned back against his desk, quietly processing how he should word this. “Okay, long story short, I’m polyamorous and I definitely have a crush on Sniper but I won’t do anything if it makes you uncomfortable.”

Apparently that still wasn’t where Ludwig expected it to go, because he actually gave a relieved laugh. “Listen, mein kleiner Igel, as long as you keep me in the loop, you can do whatever you want. I just want to know what’s happening when it happens.”

“Huh. I don’t know what I expected but it wasn’t that,” Magnus admitted, before leaning forward to give Ludwig a quick kiss. “Good to know, though, because I’m about to ask Sniper out.”

He then kind of shooed Ludwig out (giving him another kiss for funsies) right as Sniper walked up. “Mick! Perfect timing,” he said, grabbing the aussie’s arm and yanking him into the room.

“Thoughts on having two boyfriends?” he immediately asked, staring at him in a way that made Mick think he was looking directly into his soul.

“Pretty awesome,” Mick replied without hesitation, only vaguely aware that he had answered so fast- he was too distracted by the way Magnus’s face lit up with pure joy. He didn’t see him happy very often, after all.

Am I going to let that last? Absolutely not. “Okay, okay, there’s more to the question,” Magnus quickly added, pulling Mick down, closer to his level, so he could make actual eye contact.

“Will you go out with me?” he asked, staring into Mick’s eyes like he was about to fucking murder him. For a disaster gay like him, that made it very hard to process the question. He was once again too busy being distracted.

“Sure-” he finally replied, only slightly aware that his voice still worked. His brain short circuited even more when Magnus gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. 

“Great, I have work to do today, but I’ll come up with something tomorrow, alright? Now out with you, Max and I need to communicate.” Aka he needs to gossip with his therapist friend.

He shooed Mick out of the room like he did with Ludwig, and then exited the building by climbing out his window and entering Max’s office the same damn way.

They spent the rest of the day catching up like they were supposed to, and of course planning the date because Magnus is an idiot who is honestly still reeling from the date with Ludwig.

Not that he would get the chance to put any of those plans in motion.

Literally the next morning, the alarms started going off (the power of Magnus is that he can easily sleep through any loud noise but Ludwig can’t so he woke him up) and they all caught a glimpse of Miss Pauling running through the halls.

At first, Magnus assumed that their intelligence was getting stolen which, by default, wasn’t his problem. He knew for a damn fact that it wasn’t that when Elias and Dean followed close behind her.

This was definitely panic worthy if those two were concerned.

Magnus immediately followed his friends, skidding to a stop in the intel room where Miss Pauling had successfully gathered the nine RED mercs. “What the hell’s going on?” he questioned, pulling Scout over to make sure he was okay when he noticed the bloody nose he sported.

“Robots-” Pauling managed to reply, before taking a moment to catch her breath. “These- these robots came out of nowhere. Redmon and Blutarch Mann are dead and so are most of the BLU mercs.”

“It’s just us, Max, and Jackson left,” Elias spoke up, the therapist and BLU Scout appearing through the door and slamming it behind them. “They came out of fucking nowhere and- and everything’s gone to shit since.”

Magnus did a quick headcount of the mercs gathered in the room, giving a relieved sigh when they were all there (he was worried Sniper and Spy hadn’t made it). “Alright, we need to stay calm,” he said, moving to the center of the room and taking charge.

“We don’t know shit about these robots, but I doubt your teammates went down without a fight.” Dean shook his head, which was enough to tell Magnus what he needed. “So they’re not indestructible. Which means we CAN fight them, and I doubt Hale is just going to step down and give away his company, which is the only damn way Gray will get this land.”

“Gray?” Pauling immediately asked, stepping in with a look of confusion, that was probably also suspicion.

Magnus tilted his head ever so slightly at her. “So you know my real name, but not who I used to work for? How… disappointing on your part. I’ve been tracking Gray for years, I knew who he was before he had a real name in the world.”

He then turned back to the mercs, his gaze flitting briefly to the door. “He’s going to try to kill us, once he finds out the REDs are still alive. And we’re gonna have to fight for our damn lives until either Hale loses, we die, or Gray somehow fucking drops dead. It’s gonna be hell, but at least it’s better than actual hell.”

“So you dumbasses are gonna suit up and you’re gonna beat the hell out of those robots because it’s what you’re good at. Elias, Ludwig, I hope to god you can come up with a respawn solution real quick because I’m not sure it’ll work forever. Dean, I know you and Dell are robotic geniuses so you’re our frontline here.”

He then turned to Max, pulled out a gun tucked against his side, and handed it to them. “You and me… we’ve got a Mann to find and plans to foil.”

“Now get your asses in gear and don’t die out there!”


	16. Chapter 16

Alright, when Magnus decided he and Max were a team, he actually had no idea that they were genuinely trained in espionage. “How the fuck did you end up a therapist? You should obviously be a spy,” he asked, checking the bullets in his revolver and ensuring his hatchets were secure.

“I am a spy,” Max answered simply, gaining a weird look from Magnus. “Yes, I went to school for therapy, but that was just a cover. It’s very easy to get people to trust you with a title like that. Everything I’ve done has been a ploy to lead up to this moment.”

Magnus just stared at them for a moment, before chuckling softly. “That really does make me look like a dumbass dropout.” He readjusted his mini flamethrower, before pulling his sleeve down over it. “Fortunately though, you don’t need school to set a bitch on fire.”

They checked in on everyone before they took off, and Magnus diverged from Max for a moment to pull Sniper and Medic to the side. “I have son,” he started off, ignoring the shock on both of their faces, “and I know Gray knows about him. If I don’t make it, you two are the only ones I trust to keep him safe. His name is Jonathon, he lives with his other parent in Roswell. Micah knows how to protect themself, I just need y’all to get to him and keep him alive, alright? He’ll know who you are. Please just…. keep my son safe.”

He then gave them both a thumbs up and rejoined Max, leaving the two men just standing there and trying desperately to process what just happened.

The two disappeared as soon as they were done checking on everyone, having not actually told the mercs where they were going or how long they would be gone. Unfortunately, to get this work properly, no one should know where they are. Otherwise… they became a liability.

“You’re sure there’s no one Gray can target to get to you?” Magnus asked Max, his voice a whisper as he pulled them up into the vents of the BLU base Gray had taken over. 

“Positive. My parents are both dead and I’m an only child. I don’t date and I certainly don’t have kids,” Max replied, their voice also in a whisper.

Magnus nodded at the confirmation, going silent and instead gesturing with his hand for Max to go down a different vent, while he kept moving forward. They made sure they’d be able to stay in contact and headed off, trying to keep their movements as quiet as possible.

Our favourite dumbass found Gray first, recognizing the nasally voice the second it floated into the vents. “Good to know he’s still unnecessarily loud,” he muttered, shuffling over to the vent opening to peek in the room.

Gray was in the middle of giving one of his famous I Am Clearly Evil speeches to his robots (who Magnus was pretty sure weren’t programmed to listen properly) with the bodies of the BLU mercs still laying on the ground.

Magnus was honestly kind of surprised he hadn’t been noticed yet- Gray was usually more attentive than this. Maybe the old age was FINALLY getting to him. He hoped that was it, anyway. 

He was quite proud of himself for not flinching when Max suddenly appeared next to him. “He has an engineer bot building the other robots for him, in Elias’s old lab,” they whispered to him, keeping their gaze on Gray. “There are medic bots, but the engineer is probably the most important cog in the machine. We need to tell the mercs to look out for them.”

“He’s gonna try to make this quick,” Magnus replied, shuffling back from the vent opening so there was less of a chance of being heard, “which means he’s probably going to get sloppy at some point. It sounds like he only has one engineer right now, so we can take that one out and get out of here. With the mercs already ready to go, he won’t have time to build another before the assault.”

He then put a hand on Max’s shoulder, looking them dead in the eyes. “You need to go, now. Because there is no doubt in my mind that some kind of alarm will sound as soon as that robot is dead. I’ll take care of it. You just get out of here.”

Max would have argued on the matter, but Magnus was already moving on, looking for the room with the engineer in it.

It wasn’t hard to find the lab- it was the same placement as Ludwig’s and the sounds of the engineer working were… very loud.

He carefully removed the vent covering once finding the opening, and peeked into the room to see if there were any other active bots. Much to his luck, there weren’t, meaning he could destroy the bot and be out of there without anyone actually seeing him.

Theoretically, cameras would be a concern, but he knew Elias well enough to know he took those fuckers out the second he noticed them, meaning they were probably scrap metal somewhere.

He waited a moment for the engineer to come closer, before dropping down onto its shoulders, shoving a knife into its robotic skull. After a few minutes of him repeating the motion in different spots, the bot fell to the ground with a clunk.

To make sure it was completely out of commission, Magnus crushed its head by stomping on it a good few times, and then set the bitch on fire before making his escape through the vents- just in time, no less, as he heard the clanking of metal feet rushing into the lab as he took off.

He was out of breath from sprinting back to the RED base by the time he got there, and since he had taken the longer, better hidden path, he hadn’t noticed the mercs on the battlefield until he got there and they were gone, leaving Max and Miss Pauling there by themselves.

“The engineer is down,” he said, before either could ask them if it worked. “I know it’s not gonna do much damage to Gray, but he’s trying to get this over with fast. If he can’t kill us quick enough, he’ll go straight to Hale, who will absolutely punch his goddamn lights out.”

“So they just need to live long enough for him to get pissed off?” Pauling asked, to which Magnus nodded in confirmation. “Well, if there’s one thing those idiots are good at, it’s not dying.”

“And besides,” Max cut in, handing Magnus a blueprint they’d snatched from Ludwig’s lab, “it looks like our medics really are smart enough to cheat death.”

It was starting to look like they’d win this war after all.

But Magnus knew better, and he knew damn well that this was only the beginning of the end for MannCo.


	17. Chapter 17

There was a lot to be tended to when the mercs came back.

The first one being the wounds. There were only two medics compared to the other mercs, and it was enough just trying to keep them alive. So Elias and Ludwig were tended to first, and once they were good and could go rest, Max and Magnus took to taking care of the others.

Max took over Pyro, Demo, the BLU Scout, and Soldier, and Magnus took everyone else (they didn’t trust Max yet), going to his Scout first.

It was rather relaxing to listen to Jeremy brag about how many robots he killed while Magnus cleaned the wounds on his face and arms. “You were keeping count?” he teased, but it just fueled him even more because he apparently killed more than Heavy (Magnus looked to him for confirmation, and he just shook his head but didn’t say anything).

Jeremy continued on until Magnus was finished, getting shooed off by his adoptive dad so he can get some rest as he turned to deal with Heavy next.

Mikhail didn’t talk nearly as much as Jeremy did, but Magnus had grown to expect that. What he didn’t expect, was for the russian’s hand to find his thigh and point out a gash he had yet to notice.

“Ah shit-” he muttered, pausing for a moment to pull the blood soaked fabric away from the wound to get a better look at it.

“I’ll take care of that later,” he decided, gesturing for Mikhail to lean down so he could reach the cuts on his face, but instead of doing that, the heavy took the first aid kit from Magnus and moved to take care of the gash.

It took a full second for Magnus to process what was happening, but he started struggling on instinct. “You don’t have to- your injuries are more serious than mine-” he argued, but stopped moving when Mikhail just straight up grabbed him.

“Your wounds are just as important as mine,” he said to him, and it was enough to shut him up and allow the gash to be tended to. But as soon as Mikhail was done, Magnus was focusing on him again, but it was less silent this time. It was… honestly quite nice.

Magnus pat Mikhail’s shoulder lightly when he let him go, to which the male responded by holding his hand for a moment, pressing a little kiss to his knuckles before heading out of the room.

The last he needed to patch up were Spy and Sniper. And “patch up” was used loosely, since they were the least injured out of everyone.

Magnus honestly left Spy to deal with it himself, since the resurgence of his old employer was making him more bitter than ever. So he turned his focus to Sniper instead, carefully removing his glasses so he could deal with the cut on his cheek.

“So, how hard is it to snipe robots with a bomb?” Magnus asked as he cleaned the wound, gaining a soft chuckle from the aussie.

“Hard,” he answered, holding still for a moment as the bandaid was placed over the cut. “Buggers are faster than we expected- ‘specially the scouts. Almost got backstabbed a few times.”

Magnus looked him over for any other wounds, relieved to find he was mostly okay. “Well, I’m certainly glad you weren’t, because I am placing absolutely no trust in the respawning system.”

He then pulled Mick down to give him a quick kiss (which he absolutely instantly melted into), smiling at him when he pulled back. “I’m glad you’re alive. Now just stay alive, or I’ll kill you again.”

Mick couldn’t help but chuckle lightly. “No worries mate. I don’t plan on dyin’ anytime soon.”

This little terf war went on for at least a MONTH. Gray wasn’t giving up, and neither were the mercs. Magnus and Max were doing recon almost every day, and they would spend their nights patching up the mercs. 

On top of that, they still had to fulfil their roles as therapists, because this was fucking all of them up even more. It even got to the point that Soldier was talking about THIS war instead of the usual one.

And then, one day, it all stopped. And they got a message from the Administrator, a message Miss Pauling looked both angry and regretful to give to them.

“Hale has given up MannCo,” she said, shaking her head slightly, “and we are all to evacuate the premises immediately, because it now belongs to Gray Mann.”

This was what Magnus was expecting. He knew this would happen, he just wasn’t sure when. He also knew that this wasn’t the end. Not even close.

They all got out as quick as possible, leaving a lot of their things behind. Magnus made sure he knew where everyone was going- Pierre and Jeremy were staying in Teufort for a while, Jackson was going ahead of them back to Boston to his mom. Jane was heading back to the city, Mick was going home to his parents, Mikhail was returning to his family.

Tavish was going back to his mom, Pyro was… going anywhere they could, apparently. Dell refused to tell him where he was going, which was fair enough. Ludwig said he was going back to Germany, but Magnus didn’t believe that for a second.

Magnus returned to his own family, deeply relieved to return to Roswell and see that his son was safe. Elias and Dean stayed with them for a few days, before Dean dropped off the grid with his sister, and Elias found a place nearby.

As much as it sucked that they lost their jobs, Magnus now had all the time in the world to find the Administrator and put a bullet in her stupid, old lady head.

And he’d be able to be there when Jonathon turned 17, which meant the absolute world to him. He tried to stay in contact with his two boyfriends, but they both dropped off the grid as well at some point (Mikhail still returned his letters though).

By the time Jonathon’s birthday came around, he’d almost forgotten about the… experience that was working for MannCo. 

So you can only imagine his surprise when one day he opened the door to his home and a woman shorter than him dressed in a purple dress was standing there, offering him a job.


	18. Chapter 18

It was almost amusing watching Saxton Hale rack his little brain for a way to fight Olivia without actually fighting her. Gray just stood by the side, waiting for the man to finally give up.

And soon enough, he did. Neither of his assistants would take over for him, and so he lost. “Robots, stand down,” Gray ordered, as a last little “fuck you” to Hale. “Oh, and Hale?” he said, as he was walking out the door.

“If you see Mr. Summers, tell him his brother says hello,” he finished, gesturing to the person with the rabbit head mask standing next to him. They gave Hale a slow wave, tilting their head to the side slightly.

Gray then turned to his little… let’s say bodyguard, and smiled at them. “Well then, my little Dust Bunny, time for you to get to work. We can’t have those pesky little mercenaries ruining things, can we?”

They shook their head, checked for their weapons, and left the same way Hale did, 100% ready to bust some god damn heads.

–

Magnus did not feel comfortable being crammed in Miss Pauling’s tiny car once again. It was even worse than last time because Elias was there too, and he looked just as awkward.

“So… we’re the first people you looked for… why?” Magnus finally asked, looking over at Pauling as she pulled up to the house Soldier was currently causing problems outside of.

“Actually, I was there for just you,” she replied. “Dr. Braun was just a bonus. And it’s because the mercs will listen to you better than they’ll listen to me.” Ah yes, using the “you are friends with these idiots” card.

Magnus just sighed, popping open the door and stepping out to deal with his chaotic adopted father. “Jane goddamn Doe, what the fuck are you- is that Tom Jones?”

Needless to say, Soldier didn’t get in the car without a firm lecture on not killing musical sensations in their own home. He also hit Merasmus in the head with a shovel when he tried to give his two cents on the situation.

“Okay, next we need to grab Pyro and Demo. Uh… I’ll let you handle Pyro by yourself, Magnus,” Pauling said, shooting a nervous glance at the man.

He ended up almost burning a building down to grab his friend’s attention. It worked, definitely, but he also realized why Pauling didn’t want to be around while he did this. He too would be afraid of dying a fiery death in this situation.

Demo joining them in the clown car was the worst. By then, Pyro had cut off Soldier’s fucking hand and they had to get it sewn back on, and there were already three people in the backseat. Which meant Demo ended up stuck in the passenger’s seat with Magnus, which was less than comfortable.

Eyelander got shoved in the trunk. It complained like hell, but Magnus was NOT about to share a seat with Demo and his stupid talking sword.

“Why didn’t you tell me Spy was getting hanged? Why would I want to stop that?” Magnus asked, looking down at the newspaper Demo had provided him. “Ohh, I see now. He roped Scout into his shit. Looks like I’ll have to kick his ass for fucking with my son.”

Spoiler alert: that is NOT what ended up happening.

“Soldier, I’m going to kill you,” Magnus announced, glaring over at the man from where they all stood on the Hanging Platform™. “I’m going to kill you so hard that you will come back to life five times and I will kill you again each time. No one will be able to save you. I did not last this long just to die from your idiocy.”

He was so busy threatening his dad, that he literally did not notice his own son in the crowd. Or the person with a hood on whose face was hidden but we’re not focusing on them right now.

“Y’all know the mayor can’t hang anyone, right?” Jonathan suddenly called out, Magnus’s attention immediately snapping to him. “That’s literally not something a mayor can do. And if anyone tries to add me to the hanging list, I’ll kick your asses.”

Miss Pauling ran up with Pyro, waving a pamphlet in the air right as Magnus opened his mouth to ask his kid how the FUCK he got there. “He’s right! It says it right here in the mayor pamphlet- you don’t have the power to hang anyone!”

“This is a goddamn fever dream,” Spy muttered next to Magnus, to which he reached over and gently pat his shoulder, nodding his agreement. 

The major almost instantly agreed with Pauling that he couldn’t do any of this, and they were all released, Magnus jumping straight off the platform and making a beeline for his kid.

“Jonathon Axel Summers, what the FUCK do you think you’re doing here?” he demanded, ignoring the way his son cringed at the use of his full name.

“Micah said you were in trouble,” he quickly explained, “and- and I really wanted to meet the people you worked with since you were always talking about them. I’m almost an adult too! I think I deserve to know what might happen to you! What- what if you don’t come home? I’d never know what happened to you!”

That was enough to immediately dissipate Magnus’s anger, leaving only worry in its wake. “Jon, there is not a force on earth or in hell that could keep you from knowing what happens to me.” He then sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “If I don’t willingly let you come along, Soldier will smuggle you into the car,” he decided, all too aware of the way the mentioned merc was practically fucking vibrating behind him.

And so, the car ended up even more fucking crowded. Luckily, it didn’t last long, since they dropped Soldier, Scout, Elias, and Pyro off at an airport so they could head to Russia to find Heavy (Magnus gave them a letter to deliver to him- said something about the postal services being fucked for a week or two now).

After that was over, Spy disappeared, as he does, and the rest of them (Magnus, Pauling, Demo, and Jon) headed to a completely different airport to catch a plane to Australia to grab Sniper.

Except Magnus and Jon got lost almost as soon as they touched down. It’s a bad case of “Magnus got distracted by the random person following them and Jon stayed by his side to ensure his dad didn’t die”.

“Hey fucker, I’ve seen you up my ass one too many times for it to be coincidence,” Magnus blurted out, causing the person to stop in their tracks. “What? Ain’tcha gonna defend yourself?”

‘I don’t speak to people like you,’ the person replied in sign language, after turning to face him. ‘I am not following you. I am following the woman you seem to trust so deeply. She is what I need, she will lead me to my goal.’

“She ain’t gonna lead you to shit, chief,” Magnus spat back. “Pauling’s locked up tighter than a damn bomb shelter. So you can pack up your shit and head on home.”

He put a hand on Jon’s shoulder as he turned away, a gesture for him to follow him. “Okay, now we need to hunt down the group, because we’re fucking lost.”

Dust Bunny just watched them retreat, tilting their head with a glint of intrigue in their dark blue eyes. They figured, deep down, he wouldn’t be so abrasive if he knew who they were. 

The last thing Magnus expected to find when he kicked open the door to Sniper’s parents’ house was Miss Pauling and Demo tied to chairs with Demo conked the fuck out.

“Mick!” Sniper immediately cringed at the incredulous tone Magnus’s voice took, and his first instinct was to smile slightly and wave.

“Uh… hey, Magnus,” he said after a moment, right before he noticed Jonathon. “Wait- is that the kid you told us about?” He had completely forgotten about that moment of “hey I might die, please take care of my son”.

There was silence for a moment, before Magnus moved Jon in front of him. “I’m Jonathon,” he said, figuring that’s what his dad was going for. “And I probably am the kid you were told about. I can only assume you’re the aussie dad talks about.”

Another slightly awkward silence before the original anger of seeing friends tied up hit Magnus again. He shoved Sniper out of the way and untied both of them, before turning to the australian again with the vague threat of strangling.

“I wanted to find my real parents!” Sniper quickly explained, holding up his hands in surrender. It worked, because Magnus immediately calmed down. “But we’re gonna go find them anyway. I was about to untie them, I swear.”

“You’re on thin ice, Mundy,” Magnus warned, grabbing the back of Demo’s shirt and dragging him out to the car. “But you sure do have a fucked up way of asking who your real parents are. You just need to get better at finding info on people.”

I would make a joke about Magnus being stupider than Sniper, but he DID successfully hunt down the Administrator within a month (both times!) and kept an eye on Gray for almost a year without him knowing.

“Where to next, Pauling?” he asked, tossing Demo into the backseat and looking over at her.

“New Zealand,” she replied, slipping into the driver’s seat. “Both for Sniper’s parents, and the australium.”

Oh right. That stupid ass shit.


	19. Chapter 19

Magnus actually passed out in the submarine. And for some reason, the mercs just left him sprawled out on the floor. Elias even laid down next to him, as if it was normal.

He only woke up when they were out of the sub, and it was only because he was flung over Sniper’s shoulder. “You could have just woken me up,” he hissed, only to get no response. “Mick?”

After a moment of continued silence, Magnus kicked Sniper in the gut to get him to drop him. He hit the ground with an ‘oof’, before being greeted by the sight of a spindly old man with… a very long beard and a fucked up look in his eyes.

Old Man didn’t even get to speak before, “If you even look in my direction, I’ll end your life,” from Magnus. He quickly looked away, before he continued speaking with Sniper.

He literally processed exactly zero of any of this conversation. He was just completely blanked out. Lost in the sauce. Too busy laying on the floor. Barely heard the rocket taking off.

“What the FUCK just happened?” he finally asked, bringing the mercs attention to where he was on the floor.

“My wife just stole my only escape,” Sniper’s dad answered, which only resulted in him getting a gear to the face.

“Someone who isn’t the old man I specifically told to not interact with me in any form tell me what happened.”

Sniper took on the job instead, pulling Magnus up from the floor. “My real mom just took off in the rocket painted with australium and now we need to get out of here or we’re all going to drown.”

Magnus blinked, using all two of his braincells to process that, before grabbing Jonathon’s hand and legging it back to the submarine.

The submarine that Sniper’s dad immediately stole.

“Hey Mick?” Magnus started, making the man look over at him, “I’m going to tear your dad apart if I ever see him again.”

“I… will support you in that.”

They tried to come up with ways to get the hell out of there, when the doors started opening again. Sniper immediately lit up, assuming his dad had come back, but Magnus realized very quickly was NOT the case.

Unfortunately, he realized it too late. Two bullets into Sniper’s chest too late.

“Mick!” He immediately rushed forward, catching him as he fell back. It took a moment before he looked up, and god DAMN did he regret it when he saw his other boyfriend standing with the man who just killed Sniper.

Well, obviously the only proper response to this transgression was to kill both of them, before blowing up their ship.

He did not get the chance to blow up the ship. Most likely because they knocked him out the first chance they got (Medic probably over exaggerated his ability to kill people without weapons).

Well.. maybe he didn’t exaggerate it too much. Magnus still very much had his teeth.

He expected to wake up in a cell, or a torture room of some kind, but instead he jumped awake and was immediately greeted by the face of his Great Old Boss.

“Rise and shine, Mr. Summers,” Gray said, with that all too familiar grin on his face, “there’s someone I want you to meet.”

“I’m gonna shove my fist down your throat and rip out your lungs,” Magnus replied immediately, pressing the bottom of his palms into his eyes as if this was some kind of migraine.

Technically, it was.

Gray just rolled his eyes, gesturing to Cheavy to come over and pick him up by the back of his shirt. “Hey-!” Magnus snapped, instinctively swinging his leg around to kick the man in the nose. “Only Mikhail can pick me up like a feral cat!”

The kick at least got him to drop him, but now it meant that he had no choice but to lock eyes with the rabbit headed individual standing beside Gray.

“So you hired a furry to kill me? Disappointing.” He heard the person groan at his comment, and it definitely made him feel better.

“Dust Bunny, first of all, is not a ‘furry’. And secondly, they are… something of a bodyguard to me. I picked them up off the street and ever since they’ve been loyal to me,” Gray explained, gesturing for them to step forward. “They rarely ever remove the mask, to protect their identity. But I think it’s fair for you to know what was stolen from you.”

“I’ve not a damn clue what you’re on abo-” the sight of their face stopped Magnus in his tracks. They… were so similar to Jonathon. To Magnus himself. They looked almost exactly like him, in fact.

‘Hello brother,’ they signed, tilting their head slightly. ‘It’s been a while.’

–

Elias had been staring at the chains for a long hour or so now. He figured he could break them if he pulled hard enough, but he would also end up breaking his bones, so that was a no go.

“Hey, was it just me, or was that Ludwig up with those guys?” he finally spoke, gaining the attention of Miss Pauling and Spy (Demo was blacked out). Spy just sighed softly, and Miss Pauling crinkled her nose.

“I think it was. Makes sense why they took out Sniper and Magnus first,” she replied, looking down at her own chains.

“So, we’re all in agreement that Ludwig is now the enemy, ja?” Elias continued, very unfortunately getting a nod from both mercs. “Wunderbar,” he muttered, turning his now soured gaze back to the chains clamped around his wrists.

They sat in silence for a long time, before Elias finally turned his gaze to Demo. “They fed him normal food, didn’t they? Even I could have told them that was a bad idea, and my Demoman wasn’t nearly as alcoholic as this one.”

Pauling gave a light chuckle at that, which was exactly what he was going for, but immediately reminded him of a more pressing issue that Magnus would no doubt have his head for:

“Did anyone see where they took Jonathon?”

Silence fell over the three instantly. Sure Jon was seventeen and raised by a murderer/arsonist, but who’s to say he’s not already dead?

Me. I’m to say it. He actually bit the guy (Classic Spy) hauling him away pretty hard and took off. He’s somewhere in the vents by now, looking for his dad.

Suddenly, the door slammed open, and everyone looked up at once.

–

It was right as Mick shot up from the table that Jonathon fell down from the ceiling. “Oh shit!” the teen exclaimed, one hundred percent not expecting his dad’s dead boyfriend to suddenly sit bolt right up from being fucking dead. “What the fuck!?”

“Language, kinder,” Ludwig chastised, right before getting choked the fuck out by Mick, who was clearly not happy about having been killed by him.

“He’s not the one who killed you though,” Jon cut in, prying the aussie off of the doctor. “He was just… standing next to the guy who did it. That’s not important anyway! The tiny dude has my dad, and I’m gonna rip him apart for it, but I don’t know where the hell they are.”

There was silence for a moment as the two men stared at this… 5’5 teen without a weapon, before Ludwig shrugged and broke it for them. “Completely understandable. I’ll help you find him, of course, but please for the love of everything put in a good word for me, I don’t want him to enthaupte mich for joining these mercs. I needed the resources.”

It was Jon’s turn to stare for a minute, before letting out an annoyed sigh and grabbing a bonesaw. “Whatever. I guess you made him happy before this so I won’t let him kill you. But you owe me for this.”

Ludwig just grinned and nodded, right before Cheavy decided to burst into the room. Jon instinctively ducked for cover, staying behind the massive crate tower in the corner to avoid being seen.

Cheavy had his whole rage moment (and his Kill Archimedes moment), and Jon watched as Mick just fucking disappeared, as Snipers do, before Cheavy was storming out.

“Wow, that guy’s fucked up,” Jon commented as he emerged from the crates.

“Tell me about it,” Ludwig replied with a groan, before grabbing a bonesaw of his own and grinning at Jonathon. “Now then! Let’s go find your father, ja?”

–

Jokes on them, his father was too busy staring at that who is apparently his twin, and losing his goddamn mind.

Stay tuned for the next episode of: Dust fucking loses it writing a Gray monologue.


	20. Chapter 20

Magnus and Dust Bunny stared at each other for a long time, before Gray decided to wave Cheavy off to check on the doctor, and step in.

“For someone who finds and collects information as well as you do, I was quite surprised to learn that you had no idea about your own twin brother,” he said, Dust immediately stepping to the side to allow him to take the stage (after pulling Magnus onto his feet).

“I mean, really, I tried to have you killed because of that skill, and yet you never bothered to look into the possibility that your parents were lying to you when they said you were an only child. I’m quite disappointed in you, Mr. Summers. I honestly expected better.”

“But, I suppose I can’t be too upset. Your shortcomings did lead me to one of my most prized discoveries. And they weren’t nearly as difficult to condition as you were- they were more desperate for something to cling to than you ever were. They’d been abandoned by everyone they never even got a chance to know. They needed a family, and I needed a weapon.”

“I’m beginning to think your family is predisposed to violence, if I’m being honest. First you and your arson, then your brother and their love for death. I’m sure it was… nature vs nurture for you, but simply survival for them.”

Magnus’s “rush forward and punt small man” attempt was thwarted by Dust kicking him in the gut, and sweeping his feet out from under him. “Don’t you see, Mr. Summers? They would do anything for me. I am the only sense of loyalty they have ever had! You and your parents abandoned them, but I picked them off the ground and gave them a reason to keep living! They would destroy the fucking world if I only asked them to!”

He paused to place a foot on Magnus’s chest, applying just enough pressure that he struggled to breathe right. “And I want to make sure that you finally die knowing that it was the person you betrayed the most that killed you. With hope, your son will even get to watch. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got work to do.”

With that, Gray left, leaving Magnus on the floor with Dust Bunny standing ominously over him. He had to be honest- the scariest part of that threat was the fact that Jonathon was still alive.

–

“That’s not Heavy,” Elias immediately pointed out when the russian man came barging through the door, but apparently his clearly correct brain cells were simply not listened to. “Pauling! That is not Heavy!” he repeated, more aggressively this time, before kicking that bitch in the leg after she just straight up gave him the location of the Administrator.

“Du dummes kleines-! Du wirst uns töten!” he snapped, glaring at her when she turned to ask what he was on about. Not two seconds later one of the classics came running in, and the Spy dropped his disguise. “SEE!? You’re all Dummkopfs!”

Thankfully, the only heterosexual couple anyone can stand was following close behind. Zhanna swung her… nub hand at Spy, only successfully whacking him in the face and shocking him.

This was remedied by Soldier knocking him the fuck down, right where Pierre could safely strangle him with the chains attached to his ankles.

They’d honestly forgotten about the classic Demoman, until he grabbed Miss Pauling and threatened to kill her. And honestly, Zhanna is such a queen for just punching that bitch through Pauling. She deserved the broken nose for not seeing through the classic Spy.

“Ack, danke,” Elias muttered once he was freed from the shackles, before all of them turned their attention to Jonathon, who threw a dying Gray Mann onto the floor. 

“I didn’t even get the chance to be the one who did this,” he grumbled, wiping the blood off his hand as Gray crawled his way to one of the walls for support.

And even while he was dying, Gray still tried to cut a deal with Miss Pauling to take out the Administrator, to which she gave a fantastic monologue that I don’t remember, that he died in the middle of (rude). 

“Great job lady, you fucking talked him to death,” Jon spat, glaring at Pauling before promptly getting smacked in the head by Elias.

“Revenge is nice, yes, but I think you should focus on the fact that your father is still alive and that we have yet to find him. We already have to fight our way out through a horde of robots- infighting will NOT benefit us.”

Now, I know what everyone who has read the comics is thinking, and no. Jonathan was not caught by the blood sucking robots Cheavy released on them while Magnus kicked Dust’s kneecaps and took off.

Everyone else though? They were free game.


	21. Chapter 21

Magnus killed the classic Engineer on his way to the others. Not because he was attacking him or anything, but simply because he saw him exit a room into the hallway that he had deemed his warpath, and couldn’t have him snitching.

So he whacked him in the back of the head with the axe he’d found, dragged him into a different room, and severed his fun robotic legs from the rest of his body (he kept those with him as a blunt weapon) before taking off again.

By the time he found his teammates, Jonathan and Medic were running around pouring literal buckets of blood into people. “I’d ask what the hell is going on, but I am so full of rage right now that Ludwig is lucky I haven’t torn into him like a starving lion yet,” he said, snatching up a bucket of his own and getting to work helping them.

Soon enough, they were done just… pouring blood into people all willy nilly and decided to occupy their time with watching Demo go absolutely ham on the robots with his alcohol for blood.

Well, everyone else did, Magnus was too busy trying to strangle Ludwig for killing their boyfriend while Jon tried to pull him off. Eventually, Heavy appeared out of fucking nowhere (with Scout in tow) and successfully picked Magnus up by his scruff, pulling him up easily.

“I have been trying to tell you for the past five minutes that the fucking batshit doctor brought the aussie back to life,” Jon finally managed to tell him, and that calmed Magnus down enough that he stopped acting like a feral kitten being held by a human for the first time.

He stared at Ludwig for a long time (something the former doctor absolutely despised) before letting out a quiet sigh. “Not forgiven yet, but I suppose I won’t tear you to shreds. I am, however, withholding affection until I can forgive you.”

A steep price, but one Ludwig would pay a hundred times over if it meant he got to keep his limbs.

“Now we fight robot army outside,” Heavy suddenly cut in, dropping Magnus and just walking out the door as if the idea of being greatly outnumbered by fucking robots didn’t bother him in the slightest.

“We don’t even have any weapons!” Magnus quickly protested. “Well, I mean, I do but that’s because I’m a thief and very good at finding axes. The rest of y’all are fresh out of luck.”

Heavy just turned to Magnus with an even more serious look than usual and placed a hand on his shoulder. “We will make do.”

And then he continued his journey to the fucking robot army while Magnus silently lost his mind and followed with the rest of them.

–

Dust Bunny had been looking for Magnus when they found the body, slumped over against the wall with a massive hole in the back.

They didn’t fully process it at first. They figured Gray was smart enough to have some kind of decoy, a dead ringer of sorts.

It only took them a moment to realize this wasn’t the case.

They slowly lowered themself onto their knees in front of the corpse, taking off the mask once they were settled. They’d never cried before, and they didn’t now. They weren’t sure they even could cry anymore.

For a long moment, they just sat in silence, allowing themself to silently grieve for the only person that had ever shown them some semblance of companionship, before that sadness was replaced by a rage they’d felt their entire life.

Well, rage, and more sadness, but not for themself. How were they supposed to tell Olivia what happened? She loved her father, and looked up to Dust. It was going to break their heart to give her the news, but better them than anyone else.

They stayed there for a moment longer, before setting the mask in front of the body, pulling themself to their feet, and storming out of the room with a new purpose.

Luckily for the mercs, they weren’t stupid enough to think it was them, even if the body was in the room they had been locked in.

No, they were well aware of the growing distrust between Gray and the classics, and they knew only one of them was dumb enough to attack their own boss. 

Cheavy had some goddamn hell to pay.

–

Magnus discovered quickly that it was actually quite fun hacking up robots. Though, at this point, he had ditched the axe for his hatchets which… fell from the sky with everyone else’s weapons.

Here’s a fun fact about everyone’s favourite dumbass: his selective hearing is so bad that people often think he’s dead! He did not hear Saxton Hale yell his own name as he jumped out of a plane, nor was he aware the man was there at all. He thought that one of his gods simply dropped some weapons for everyone.

Besides, he was too busy hacking and torching to really pay attention to anything else (which- thank GOD- because he would have seen Soldier and Zhanna ass naked in honey if he had paid any more attention than he was). 

Unfortunately though, that meant he didn’t notice Medic running off to patch Demo up, which also meant that he didn’t see Cheavy appear to grab him and try to force him to do some Impromptu Suwguwy. 

He didn’t see Heavy run off to take care of Cheavy either. In fact, he didn’t realize that Very Big Fucker was out there at all until he heard exactly two gunshots and an oh so familiar yell of rage from Mikhail.

Magnus fucking BOOKED IT over to them, panic setting in he realized the one that had been shot was Medic. “Ludwig!” Yes, the dead man can totally hear you.

He slipped past the fight between the heavies, darting over to Ludwig and immediately dropping to his knees next to him, searching for ANY sign of life. 

But you know what the great thing about distraction is?

No one notices the biggest threat until they’ve already entered the arena. And this threat? Well, they’ve got a lot of pent up rage that needs to be taken out on a certain idiot who had the audacity to believe that he could live forever.

You know what that belief got him? A knife to his good eye, and a very pissed 5’6 man trying to rip his jaw off of the rest of his skull.


	22. Chapter 22

It was VERY hard for Cheavy to wrangle Dust Bunny off of him, but threw them directly into the ground once he’d managed it. “The hell is wrong with you, you little freak!?” he spat, which only earned him another stab to the knee.

Which Cheavy obviously responded to by kicking Dust away from him. “Coward!” Dust spat, the sound of their voice genuinely shocking the classic merc. “If you were truly as unafraid of death as you claim to be you would fight me like a man!”

The distraction Dust Bunny caused was apparently enough time for Medic to fuck over the devil once again and just straight up rise from the goddamn dead (Magnus had no idea what was happening at this point, and just kind of… stared at him).

“Excuse me,” Ludwig spoke up, getting Cheavy’s attention. He grinned at the man in response to the look of disbelief on his face, cutting him off from asking the questions he undoubtedly had.

“You see this pen here?” he continued, holding up a heavily modified pen for Cheavy to look at. “Well, not a pen anymore. Now it’s a sort of detonator. For the baboon uterus I put inside you!”

Okay, that got everyone’s attention. Even Dust Bunny’s. I think everyone has realized that Ludwig is Not Sane at this point.

“I think I put… three, maybe four little baboons in you! And when I press this button, they’ll all be born instantly, and probably kill you,” he explained further, right before clicking the button.

Just for nothing to happen. Cheavy narrowed his eyes at Ludwig, taking a cautious step forward. “Looks like you were bluffing, Frankenstein,” he growled, before finally taking notice of the hand shoved into his side.

“Maybe, but it was one hell of a distraction,” Ludwig replied with a shit-eating grin as Dust Bunny yanked the life device from Cheavy’s side, chucking it far away from the battlefield.

‘You get what you deserve, bastard,’ Dust signed at the man as he rapidly aged in front of their eyes. ‘I’m almost happy you failed to kill the most useless of the Administrator’s teams. Shows how useless you are too.’

Cheavy didn’t even get the chance to respond, before Miss Pauling was launching into another great monologue I can’t remember for the life of me, ending off with the iconic, “We’re Team Fortress, and you’re dead.”

And with that, the Classics were dead as fuck, and the team could finally just take a goddamn break. Well, not Pauling, she was sort of freaking out over the australium.

Magnus ran over to Jonathan first, fretting over him as a paranoid father does while still letting him know that he was proud of him for kicking ass without dying. “You did wonderful sweetie,” he praised, pressing a quick kiss to the top of Jon’s head.

Jon trying to push him off, as teenagers do, was when Magnus noticed Dust Bunny. They were still standing over Cheavy’s body, staring down at it like they didn’t know what to do.

Obviously he chose to approach them.

“You don’t have anything anymore, do you?” he asked after a moment of silence, a little surprised when Dust actually looked up at him. They shook their head, and the look on their face broke his heart.

“Well… you have your brother,” he offered, giving them a small smile. They stared at him for a long moment, before throwing themself into his arms, which he immediately responded to by wrapping them in a tight hug.

They stood there, Dust Bunny clinging to Magnus for dear life, for a few minutes before they finally released their twin. ‘Thank you,’ they signed. ‘I need to… find Olivia. I should be the one to tell her.’

Magnus simply nodded, ensuring his sibling could slip away without the other mercs noticing. The last thing he wanted was them trying to stop them, after all.

He didn’t notice Elias until the man placed a hand on his shoulder, immediately catching his attention. “Are you okay, lieb?” he asked, concern practically dripping from his voice.

“Yeah. Are you ready to take on an even bigger problem?” He’d waited too long to confront that bitch, and he couldn’t stand to put it off even longer.

Elias responded with a grin. “Ready as ever. I know where Dean is, I’ve already contacted him. I figured this would be what we needed to get back in action.” Always thinking ahead. That’s why he’s the braincell of the operation.

As it turned out though, the Administrator had the exact same idea as them, except she wasn’t waiting a second longer.

The mercs ended up crashing at Magnus’s place, much to Micah’s dismay (though they eventually caved when they saw how exhausted they all were). Magnus actually created a passed out dogpile in the middle of his bedroom floor, complete with Ludwig, Mick, Mikhail, and even Pierre. Everyone else scattered around the house (Elias ended up halfway on the coffee table and Soldier somehow crashed in the bathtub with Zhanna).

With all the mercs in one place, it made it harder for Bartholomew to get in without waking anyone up, but he was nothing if not efficient. “I think this is the worst thing she’s made me do,” he muttered to himself as he grabbed his target, getting out of there as fast as possible.

He stopped by a payphone a few blocks away, silently waiting for the other end to pick up. “Hey Eliza,” he greeted in response to the female voice on the other end. “No, I won’t be home for dinner tonight. Work stuff. Let Michael and Maria know for me. Maria probably won’t understand what you’re saying, but she goes crazy if she doesn’t see me or hear anything about me. You can honestly just say ‘dad’ and she’ll be good.”

He listened to her speak for a few moments, adjusting the body slung over his shoulder to make sure he was still alive, before returning his focus to the phone. “Alright. Thanks. I’ll see you in the morning.”

With that, he hung up and continued the trek to the Administrator’s office that she’d taken back as soon as she knew Gray was dead. She’d already taken care of what she needed to, so she was perfectly ready to deal with the consequences of kidnapping Magnus’s son.


	23. Chapter 23

Yeah, so, the Administrator probably didn’t understand that Magnus is more rage than he is person. He ripped the house apart in search of his son, and then proceeded to aggressively interrogate their neighbours. He only stopped when Micah forced him too, but he was seething.

No one even got the chance to ask what was going on before Magnus had grabbed Elias by the arm and dragged him out of the house. “Dean’s here, ain’t he?” the man questioned, the anger making it impossible for him to hide his southern accent like usual.

“Ja, but lieb, we can’t just storm into her base without weapons,” Elias pointed out, hoping it would have stopped him, but it most definitely didn’t.

“You may not have your weapons on you, but I never go anywhere without a gun, and Dean sure as hell wouldn’t be caught dead without a knife.”

–

Dean loaned Elias a revolver the doctor was pretty sure he stole when they found him. Magnus asked if Joanie would be joining them, but she was a little busy with her girlfriend, so there was no point in asking her.

He didn’t waste time on explaining, grabbing his friends by the hands and dragging them out of the house. They didn’t have any more time to waste. Not when his son’s life was on the line.

Elias had to stop them from stealing a car, instead looping back around to Micah’s house to borrow their car. They were… hesitant to allow Magnus to go through with it, but the mercs knew that look far too well.

Pyro was the one to silence Micah, shaking their head at them. This wasn’t a fight they would win.

Magnus and his friends were out the door again as soon as they had the keys, but faster than before. They had already wasted too much time, and he wouldn’t put it past the Administrator to harm Jonathan to speed him up.

The car ride was silent, but Elias had to force Magnus to ease up his grip on the steering wheel at least five times. Eventually, he gave up, and resigned himself to watching his friend attempt to destroy the wheel with his grip.

Also.. why is Magnus driving? He hasn’t had a license in eight years.

They almost crashed on the way there. Dean made a comment on how they shouldn’t have let Magnus drive. He shut him up with a glare.

There were dogs outside of the base, but they shut the hell up too once Magnus got close enough. Dean was the best with animals, so he took a moment to calm them down and release them from their chains.

By the time he, and the dogs, caught up with Magnus and Elias, the guards were practically ripped apart. Magnus had the most blood on him. No one was surprised. Dean let the dogs go before joining them in the elevator.

Magnus wiped the blood on his face off on the sleeve of his jacket without saying a word, ignoring the crimson liquid dripping from the blade of his hatchet.

“Would you… be willing to kill Miss Pauling… if needed?” Elias finally asked, knowing it had been on his and Dean’s minds since they got there.

“Without hesitation,” Magnus answered immediately. “If she even tries to get in my way, she’ll be spending her only day off without a goddamn head. I don’t care what we just went through.”

Silence fell again. Knowing that he was so ready to kill a teammate… this wasn’t the Magnus they knew, not by a long shot. But maybe the one the Administrator did.

Luckily for Pauling, she was still with the rest of the mercs, trying desperately to recover and find their three missing members. The Administrator didn’t seem surprised when they entered her office, and Magnus didn’t seem surprised that she was a hundred years younger.

“Mr. Summers,” she greeted, gesturing for her tall assistant to leave, “I almost thought you weren’t coming. But I know you wouldn’t leave your son.” She placed a hand on Jonathan’s shoulder, and he shifted in his seat. He was, however, unharmed.

She continued, cutting the trio off when they tried to speak. “I must admit, I didn’t expect for you to be such a threat. I truly believed you were just some… maniac with parental issues. Part of me thought that being around psychopaths like the mercs would calm you down. I should have expected it to make you worse.”

“Though, I supposed I was asking for it by revealing that I knew who you truly were. Your real name, the things you’ve done in the past. How does it feel being the only merc who was arrested for ‘going into a black out rage’? Were you proud when you saw that they described you as an animal? A wild, feral animal?”

“You are still that animal, Mr. Summers, you are still that BEAST you claim to be so afraid of. You’ve just caged it. I suppose that’s why you wanted me dead to begin with. I knew of this monster, and I knew how to bring it out of its cage. You didn’t want that. Didn’t want your… precious little son to see you like that. Do your lovers even know? Have you even told them? Did you ever tell Pierre?”

She could see the rage bubbling up in the man, and knew her plan was going exactly as it should. Yes, the BLU Medic and Ripper being present was unexpected, but she could catch them off guard easily enough. Hell, she could kill them if needed.

“Do they even know your real name?” Maybe that wasn’t a button she should have pressed, as he was two seconds from lunging at her, but she needed that rage to be present. It was part of the plan.

“Now, I would settle down if I were you, Mr Summers. You’re fast, but not fast enough to get to me before I put a bullet through your child’s head,” she threatened, and he immediately backed down, but still bristled.

She smiled, and he snarled in response. “It truly is a shame I have to do this. I believe you could have been a wonderful asset to MannCo. You certainly would have been a fantastic assistant. But, unfortunately, all you have become is a frustrating nuisance.”

“Goodbye, Abel Summers. May your… legacy live on in your son,” she said. Magnus leapt forward on instinct, but apparently she was a quicker draw, and he barely moved an inch before the bullet met his head.

The last thing he heard was Jon screaming before the world went black. Elias dropped to his side immediately, and Jon joined him in a matter of seconds. “Now that that’s done…” the Administrator brushed off her hands, watching to make sure Magnus didn’t move, before putting her gun down.

–

Magnus woke up in what could only be described as a void. He was standing on solid ground, but there was nothing but blackness below him. No walls, no ceiling. Just emptiness.

He almost didn’t notice the black wings until they engulfed him. He turned around, facing the god behind him. “Thanatos,” he greeted, averting his eyes to avoid direct eye contact, “so we meet again.”

“So we do,” the god replied, his voice a deep and low rumble from his chest. “You don’t like to play it safe, do you Abel?”

He couldn’t help but chuckle. “Would anyone with my name play it safe? It’s like asking for trouble.” He was stalling. They both knew that. He couldn’t stop thinking about the way Jon had screamed when he was shot.

“I hate to tell you this,” Thanatos spoke again, his wings fluttering slightly, “but I’m afraid I cannot take you to Hades. The Fates have not yet cut your string. Your story is not over. I’m sure you’re disappointed.” We love a death god with a sense of humour.

“Unlucky once again,” Magnus joked back, before reaching out to the winged god. Thanatos shook his hand.

“Do try to be more careful,” was the last thing he heard before the dark world fell away and air returned to Magnus’s lungs. He gasped harshly, his eyes snapping open.

The first thing he did was sit up, and he relished in the shock on the Administrator’s face when she spun around to face him again. “What the hel-” she didn’t get the chance to finish, before a hatchet was lodged in her chest.

“What’s a hundred year old woman…. to a feral father full of rage and fear….?” Magnus muttered, grinning as he watched the Administrator realize that he had just one.

He waited for her to fall, only allowing himself to collapse again when she was on the floor. Dean made sure she was dead. He slept the entire car ride home.

This was certainly going to be fun to explain


	24. Chapter 24

It was not fun to explain. In fact, Magnus had the biggest goddamn headache by the time he was done. Between the pain from the bullet, the constant worry radiating off his family, and him actually trying to explain, life was hell. He was missing the Thanatos void.

Finally his escape came when none other than Pierre pulled him aside. He didn’t say anything, which Magnus was grateful for, but instead just pulled the therapist into a tight hug.

Affection wasn’t really Pierre’s thing, something Magnus learned when they were together, but he didn’t have the energy to be surprised. Instead, he just melted into the embrace, letting himself cry for the first time in eight years.

They stood there for a long time- or maybe it was only a few minutes. Time got really fucked up when you literally just came back from the dead.

“I missed you,” Magnus finally spoke up, pulling away with a sigh to wipe his face off. “I know- I know it didn’t seem like it. Coping with anger is… kind of my thing. I’m sorry.”

Pierre was silent for a moment, before taking a chance and pressing a light, quick kiss to the top of Magnus’s head. “I missed you too, mon cher. I missed you every day. Je ne te quitterai plus jamais.”

Magnus couldn’t help but chuckle softly, pulling Pierre down by his tie into a real kiss. “I know. Besides, I won’t let you get away again. I’m practically invincible now.”

They stayed there a little longer, before Medic kicked the goddamn door open, as he does. Time for more reassuring, apparently.

The next time Magnus got to escape was when everyone was finally tiring out. Jonathan passed out first, despite very much not wanting to, but he was exhausted by the excitement of the day. His parents stayed with him until he was asleep. Soldier promised to keep an eye on him just in case.

Ludwig took over making dinner, so Micah could get some sleep too. It took… a long time for him to convince Magnus he could be trusted in the kitchen. The compromise was Dean helping.

Actually, that apparently wasn’t good enough, because Magnus was hovering. The solution? Heavy picked him up like the feral cat he is and carried him out to the back porch, dropping him onto the Southern™ bench swing.

“You still have blood on your forehead,” Mikhail started, lightly tapping the healing bullet wound on Magnus’s face, “yet you have been completely focused on everyone else. Rest. Take time for yourself.”

He then sat down next to Everyone’s Favourite Batshit Dad, earning a heavy sigh from the man. Magnus rested his head against Mikhail’s arm, staring out into the desert.

“I feel like if I take time to slow down, everything will fall apart and I’ll finally crash,” he admitted after a while, now wringing his hands. “Y’all are so important to me. Jon needs me to be strong and- and I don’t wanna worry the mercs more than I already have.”

“This is why I dropped out of school,” he continued, running a hand through his hair, “I’m always so worried about everyone else. It’s what made me a good therapist. Apathetic but… god I just care too much when I get close to people. I’ve always felt so worthless.”

He took a shaky breath, followed by a quiet laugh. “Sorry. Therapy’s supposed to be my job, huh? Thanks for being here anyway. You mean a lot to me, Mikhail. All of you do.”

Silence fell for a few minutes, before Magnus leaned closer and placed a quick kiss on Mikhail’s cheek. “Don’t stay up too late,” the russian suddenly spoke, grabbing Magnus’s wrist when he started to head back inside. “Sleep. The world can wait.”

And the world did wait. He woke up without a rush of panic, or fear, or rage for the first time in years. He woke up to a gentle kiss to the beginnings of a scar on his forehead from his beloved doctor boyfriend, and to a tight hug from his son.

He woke up to family. Something he thought he’d never have again. He woke up… to happiness.

It took some convincing, but Micah finally got him to agree to seeing a therapist. He stopped arguing against it when Dust Bunny showed up, with Olivia on their hip, and said they were going too.

Now that the Administrator and Gray were gone… they didn’t have a clear enemy. No more reason to keep fighting. They could finally rest. Bunny and Magnus could have the relationship their parents stole from them.

They could tell each other their real names.

“I’ve been called Dust Bunny most my life,” Bunny admitted, their voice soft and cracked from lack of use. Magnus told them they could sign, but they insisted on speaking. They trusted him. “But I chose my own name at Gray’s request. He was… the only one who used it. But I still… it’s still my name.”

They paused, taking a deep breath. “Here, I’ll go first,” Magnus suddenly interjected, gaining a grateful smile from his sibling. “It’s uh, Abel. Abel Perseus Summers,” he continued, chuckling at his name. “I was going through some shit when I chose it.”

“I like it,” Bunny reassured, giving a short nod. “Mine is Oliver,” they finally said, staring at their still hands. “Oliver Ambrose Summers. He never tried to hide my last name. I would have found out anyway.”

“It’s a beautiful name,” Magnus replied. Sure this was only the beginning of rebuilding their relationship, but it was off to a wonderful start, and the future looked bright.

–

“I’ll admit, I’m not used to being the one answering the questions,” Magnus started off, wringing his hands placed in his lap. “Never thought I’d actually need a therapist myself.”

“Uh… I guess I should just start from the beginning yeah? The real beginning. Juvie fucking sucks, you know? I didn’t even do what my dad said I did. I think that was the day I realized my parents didn’t love me. That… that really fucks you up. I didn’t come out of there the same as when I went in.”

It was hard talking about the things that happened to him. It hurt, and it made him remember things he had repressed. He had to stop a few times, to take a breath. Talking about what happened with Pierre didn’t leave a bitter taste in his mouth though. 

Was that growth? He’d find out next session, when he got into dropping out of school, and Jonathan. 

Maybe things would finally get better.

Spoiler alert: they did.


End file.
